1998 Urban Legend
(1998) In rural Carbon County, Pennsylvania, a group of men were
drinking beer and discharging firearms from the rear deck of a home
owned by Irving Michaels, age 27. The men were firing at a raccoon
that was wandering by, but the beer apparently impaired their aim.
Despite an estimated 35 shots fired by the group, the animal escaped
into a 3' diameter drainage pipe 100 feet away from Mr. Michaels'
deck.
Determined to terminate the animal, Mr. Michaels retrieved a can of
gasoline and poured some down the pipe, intending to smoke the animal
out. After several unsuccessful attempts to ignite the fuel, Michaels
emptied the entire five-gallon fuel can down the pipe and tried to
light it again, to no avail.
Not one to admit defeat by wildlife, the determined Mr. Michaels
proceeded to slide feet-first approximately 15 feet down the sloping
pipe to toss the match. The subsequent rapidly-expanding fireball
propelled Mr. Michaels back the way he had come, though at a much
higher rate of speed. He exited the angled pipe "like a Polaris
missile leaves a submarine," according to witness Joseph McFadden, 31.
Mr. Michaels was launched directly over his own home, right over the
heads of his astonished friends, onto his front lawn. In all, he
traveled over 200 feet through the air. "There was a Doppler Effect to
his scream as he flew over us," McFadden reported, "followed by a loud
thud." Amazingly, he suffered only minor injuries.
"It was actually pretty cool," Michaels said, "Like when they shoot
someone out of a cannon at the circus. I'd do it again if I was sure I
wouldn't get hurt."
Peter Putrimas, who submitted the story, searched the New York Times'
electronic morgue, but could find no reference to "Irving Michaels."
It is almost certainly an Urban Legend... or is it? We recently
receive the following email, sent through an anonymous remailer:
2 April 2000
You can give this anonymous message whatever value you care to. I just
wanted to say, without attaching my name to it, that this "Irving
Michaels and a raccoon" story is true. I know, because I was there.
It happened pretty much as described. In fact, the role of beer and
the number of shots fired are almost certainly understated :-) The
person in question was indeed the victim of a self-inflicted
directed-pressure explosion. You probably assume this is an UL because
no newspaper covered it. That's true, because Mike wasn't seriously
hurt, so there was no need to involve emergency medical services,
which would have been sufficient to generate an official report.
The fact that he was not seriously injured is hard to get over for the
people who saw the event. I was sure he would be dead when we got to
him. Happily, the reports of his non-demise are quite correct.
The subject's name, "Irving Michaels" was juxtaposed by the original
poster. Mike Irving is the name of the gentleman who did the Superman
imitation. It was posted to rib Mike, more than anything else. I think
we're all just as happy, and Mike for sure, to have this listed as an
UL.
I just wanted to let you know that just because a story wasn't in the
papers doesn't mean it never happened.
Warmest regards,
An innocent bystander :-)
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