Did you hear about the cannibal who followed the family tradition?
He swallowed in his fathers footsteps!!
Why did the cannibal kidnap the tourist?
He fancied a takeaway!!
What did Quasimodo become after he died?
A dead ringer!!
What did the alien say to the plant?
Take me to your weeder!!
Why were the early days called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights!!
Peter, where were you yesterday?
I went for a haircut Sir,
What!! in school time?
But Sir, it grew in school time,
Not all of it,
But I didn't have all of it off Sir!!
Whyare you late for school today Johnny?
Because Sir, I squeezed the toothpaste too hard and it took me half an
hour to get it back into the tube.
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyes Jamie?
Please Sir, I've never seen a rabbit wearing glasses!!
Teacher:- Give me a sentence with the words DEFENCE, DEFEAT and DETAIL
in!!
When a horse jumps over defence defeat go before detail!!
Why do you call your teacher treasure?
Because I wonder where she was dug up!!
What is a comet?
A star with a tail,
Name one,
LASSIE!!
What bird has wings but cannot fly?
A roast chicken!!
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher?
She couldn't control her pupils!!
Teacher:- Jimmy, what does Coup De Grace mean?
It's french for lawn mower!!
Mercury.
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