What is a sick joke?
Something that comes up in conversation.
What is green, sticky and smells like eucalyptus?
Koala vomit.
Why did Piglet look in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh.
What do you get if you sit under a cow?
A flat had (Texans take note LOL).
What is the soft stuff between a sharks teeth?
A slow swimmer.
Mommy, Mommy can I lick the bowl?
NO! flush it like everyone else.
Who is the best dancer at a monster party?
The boogie man!.
What is the difference between a maggot and a cockroach?
Cockroaches crunch more when yo eat them.
I just got a bunch of flowers for my wife!
Great swop.
What do you give a sick elephant?
A very big paper bag.
Why do gas stations always lock their toilets?
Theya re afraid someone might clean them!
What do you do if your nose goes on strike?
Picket!
What does a boy monster do when a girl monster rolls her eyes at him?
He rolls them back to her!
Little Monster:- I hate my teachers guts!
Mom Monster:- Then just eat around them!
Little Monster:- Should I eat my fries with my fingers?
Mom Monster:- No, eat them seperately!
Mom, everyone at school calls me a werewolf
Don't worry about it, go to the bathroom and comb your face.
Mom vampire to boy vampire:- hurry up and drink your blood before it
clots.
How can you tell when a moth farts?
He flies straight for a second.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put some boogie into it!
What is the difference between school meals and a pile of slugs?
School meals are on plates!
What colour is a hiccup?
Burple!
A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night.
"There's a burglar in the kitchen eating the cake I made this morning"
"Who should I call?" asked her husband. "The police or an ambulance?"
My cousin spent a fortune on deodorant until he found out people just
didn't like him!
You aint read nothing yet.
Mercury.
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