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Subject: LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE
From: Lil Stinker <anywhere@uwant2.net>
Organization: Olfactory Abusers
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Date: Thu, 20 Apr 2006 03:57:36 GMT
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LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner.
Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy
signal.
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you
had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were
in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every
time) {This also happens at the supermarket}
Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone
rings.
Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know
increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't
work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional
to the reach.
Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the
aisle arrive last.
Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss
will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room,
they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich
landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the
newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know
what you are talking about.
Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they
will stop making it.
--
Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows.
I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me
at once.
Lil Stinker
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