WingedMessenger <Boy@Flying.high> wrote in
news:Xns979E6E69D38C6Olympusorg@140.99.99.130:
> "::Y-Not::" <%+13$-Y-Not@here.com> wrote in
> news:070420060424494695%%+13$-Y-Not@here.com:
>
>> In article <SF8Zf.358368$fe6.256207@fe01.news.easynews.com>, Rolex
>> <rolex@twebmaster.com> wrote:
>>
>>> These are some of the things I think about when I'm home alone and
>>> the TV is broken.
>>> Why is an orange the only fruit named after its colour? Or was the
>>> colour named after the fruit?
>>>
>>> Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
>>
>> To try to fill the vacuum in their skulls, and to try to drown out
>> people who can show them to be fools.
>>
>>> Do they have reserved parking for regular people at the Special
>>> Olympics?
>>
>> In some ares, actually they do. :-)
>>
>>> Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
>>
>> Because it doesn't give you the finger?
>>
>>> Is a computer virus covered by Medicare?
>>
>> Not directly, but getting carpal tunnel syndrome while trying to get
>> rid of it, is.
>> And for kicking the computer out the window...
>>
>>> How do you know when a Smurf suffocates?
>>
>> Who cares, as long as they are dead!
>>
>>> If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
>>
>> He listened.
>>
>>> In Chinese, why are the words for crisis and opportunity the same?
>>
>> They had spin doctors then, too.
>>
>>> Where do swear words come from?
>>
>> Anything that's nasty.
>>
>>> Why do people use the word "irregardless"?
>>
>> Since that's not a real word, it's because they don't know any
>> better.
>>
>>> Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
>>
>> Coud you say that a little faster?
>>
>>> Why is it that we recite at a play and play at a recital?
>>>
>>> How does skating on thin ice get you into hot water?
>>
>> Hmm, I didn't know it did. But then, I've never skated on any kind of
>> ice. My drinking glass is a little small for that.
>>
>>> Why do they have signs at Burger King that say, "Picture menus
>>> available for those who need them"? If you can't read, how can you
>>> ask for a picture menu?
>>
>> So friends and parents can show the people who can't read how to be
>> unhealthy.
>>
>>> If a case of the clap spreads is it called applause?
>>
>> If you got it in public, instead of in privates...
>>
>>> Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
>>
>> Ask Weight Watchers.
>>
>>> Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?
>>
>> Comes with glue?
>>
>>> Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
>>
>> Oh, such burning questions!
>>
>>> Why are they called "stands" when they're made for sitting?
>>
>> And why don't bleachers change the color of the pants of the people
>> who sit in them?
>>
>>> Why is it called "after dark", when it is really after light?
>>
>> I know this one. It was originally "after darkness falls", but after
>> lazy people got a hold of it... Where's the light?
>>
>>> Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the
>>> expected?
>>
>> Nope. Because we don't expect the specifics we can't imagine.
>>
>>> If FedEx and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUp?
>>
>> After the boxing match!
>>
>>> Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
>>>
>>> Why do they report power outages on TV? I mean, duh!
>>
>> So as to explain to concerned relatives why their family members are
>> ignoring them.
>>
>>> If the insurance companies are going to set guidelines before
>>> approving Viagra coverage, what are they going to use? A growth
>>> chart?
>>
>> Would experience a rise in business.
>>
>>> If a light-sleeper sleeps with a light on, what does a hard-sleeper
>>> sleep with?
>>
>> A dildo.
>>
>>> Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
>>
>> So we can achieve the wrinkled look.
>>
>>> Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
>>
>> We may be, but the floor may be, which is where the towels usually
>> end up. Ask any parent.
>>
>>> Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
>>
>> Fictional characters can have whatever they want to. But... Who made
>> his shorts? And WHY?
>>
>>> If it's sent by road it's called a shipment, if sent by sea it's
>>> cargo?
>>
>> Doesn't matter if it doesn't arrive.
>>
>>
>> Y Not :-)
>>
>
> Have you noticed in films about Romans, Egyptians and prehistoric
> times, the clothing is always sewn with a sewing machine!!
>
> In western films, the horses and cows never crap, and the streets and
> fields are always spotlessly clean.!!
>
> In El Cid, how come they managed to photograph a jet stream?
>
> Have you noticed in the Robin Hood TV series, and arrow sticks into a
> telegraph pole.
>
> In westerns, how do they usually get about 20 bullets from a six
> shooter before reloading.
>
> Mercury.
>
Who said it was a six-shooter?
L.S.
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