Path: news.nzbot.com!not-for-mail
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: Re: Why is it
From: WingedMessenger <Boy@Flying.high>
References: <SF8Zf.358368$fe6.256207@fe01.news.easynews.com> <070420060424494695%%+13$-Y-Not@here.com>
Organization: Your Company
Message-ID: <Xns979E6E69D38C6Olympusorg@140.99.99.130>
User-Agent: Xnews/5.04.25
Lines: 168
X-Complaints-To: abuse@easynews.com
X-Complaints-Info: Please be sure to forward a copy of ALL headers otherwise we will be unable to process your complaint properly.
Date: Fri, 07 Apr 2006 09:51:16 GMT
Xref: news.nzbot.com alt.fan.rolex:1283
"::Y-Not::" <%+13$-Y-Not@here.com> wrote in
news:070420060424494695%%+13$-Y-Not@here.com:
> In article <SF8Zf.358368$fe6.256207@fe01.news.easynews.com>, Rolex
> <rolex@twebmaster.com> wrote:
>
>> These are some of the things I think about when I'm home alone and
>> the TV is broken.
>> Why is an orange the only fruit named after its colour? Or was the
>> colour named after the fruit?
>>
>> Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
>
> To try to fill the vacuum in their skulls, and to try to drown out
> people who can show them to be fools.
>
>> Do they have reserved parking for regular people at the Special
>> Olympics?
>
> In some ares, actually they do. :-)
>
>> Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
>
> Because it doesn't give you the finger?
>
>> Is a computer virus covered by Medicare?
>
> Not directly, but getting carpal tunnel syndrome while trying to get
> rid of it, is.
> And for kicking the computer out the window...
>
>> How do you know when a Smurf suffocates?
>
> Who cares, as long as they are dead!
>
>> If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
>
> He listened.
>
>> In Chinese, why are the words for crisis and opportunity the same?
>
> They had spin doctors then, too.
>
>> Where do swear words come from?
>
> Anything that's nasty.
>
>> Why do people use the word "irregardless"?
>
> Since that's not a real word, it's because they don't know any better.
>
>> Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
>
> Coud you say that a little faster?
>
>> Why is it that we recite at a play and play at a recital?
>>
>> How does skating on thin ice get you into hot water?
>
> Hmm, I didn't know it did. But then, I've never skated on any kind of
> ice. My drinking glass is a little small for that.
>
>> Why do they have signs at Burger King that say, "Picture menus
>> available for those who need them"? If you can't read, how can you
>> ask for a picture menu?
>
> So friends and parents can show the people who can't read how to be
> unhealthy.
>
>> If a case of the clap spreads is it called applause?
>
> If you got it in public, instead of in privates...
>
>> Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
>
> Ask Weight Watchers.
>
>> Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?
>
> Comes with glue?
>
>> Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
>
> Oh, such burning questions!
>
>> Why are they called "stands" when they're made for sitting?
>
> And why don't bleachers change the color of the pants of the people
> who sit in them?
>
>> Why is it called "after dark", when it is really after light?
>
> I know this one. It was originally "after darkness falls", but after
> lazy people got a hold of it... Where's the light?
>
>> Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the
>> expected?
>
> Nope. Because we don't expect the specifics we can't imagine.
>
>> If FedEx and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUp?
>
> After the boxing match!
>
>> Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
>>
>> Why do they report power outages on TV? I mean, duh!
>
> So as to explain to concerned relatives why their family members are
> ignoring them.
>
>> If the insurance companies are going to set guidelines before
>> approving Viagra coverage, what are they going to use? A growth
>> chart?
>
> Would experience a rise in business.
>
>> If a light-sleeper sleeps with a light on, what does a hard-sleeper
>> sleep with?
>
> A dildo.
>
>> Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
>
> So we can achieve the wrinkled look.
>
>> Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
>
> We may be, but the floor may be, which is where the towels usually end
> up. Ask any parent.
>
>> Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
>
> Fictional characters can have whatever they want to. But... Who made
> his shorts? And WHY?
>
>> If it's sent by road it's called a shipment, if sent by sea it's
>> cargo?
>
> Doesn't matter if it doesn't arrive.
>
>
> Y Not :-)
>
Have you noticed in films about Romans, Egyptians and prehistoric times,
the clothing is always sewn with a sewing machine!!
In western films, the horses and cows never crap, and the streets and
fields are always spotlessly clean.!!
In El Cid, how come they managed to photograph a jet stream?
Have you noticed in the Robin Hood TV series, and arrow sticks into a
telegraph pole.
In westerns, how do they usually get about 20 bullets from a six shooter
before reloading.
Mercury.
|
|