Path: news.nzbot.com!not-for-mail
Subject: Re: Why is it
Date: Fri, 07 Apr 2006 04:24:49 -0400
From: "::Y-Not::" <%+13$-Y-Not@here.com>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Reply-To: ::Y Not::
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In article <SF8Zf.358368$fe6.256207@fe01.news.easynews.com>, Rolex
<rolex@twebmaster.com> wrote:
> These are some of the things I think about when I'm home alone and the TV is
> broken.
> Why is an orange the only fruit named after its colour? Or was the colour
> named after the fruit?
>
> Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
To try to fill the vacuum in their skulls, and to try to drown out
people who can show them to be fools.
> Do they have reserved parking for regular people at the Special Olympics?
In some ares, actually they do. :-)
> Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
Because it doesn't give you the finger?
> Is a computer virus covered by Medicare?
Not directly, but getting carpal tunnel syndrome while trying to get
rid of it, is.
And for kicking the computer out the window...
> How do you know when a Smurf suffocates?
Who cares, as long as they are dead!
> If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
He listened.
> In Chinese, why are the words for crisis and opportunity the same?
They had spin doctors then, too.
> Where do swear words come from?
Anything that's nasty.
> Why do people use the word "irregardless"?
Since that's not a real word, it's because they don't know any better.
> Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
Coud you say that a little faster?
> Why is it that we recite at a play and play at a recital?
>
> How does skating on thin ice get you into hot water?
Hmm, I didn't know it did. But then, I've never skated on any kind of
ice. My drinking glass is a little small for that.
> Why do they have signs at Burger King that say, "Picture menus available for
> those who need them"? If you can't read, how can you ask for a picture menu?
So friends and parents can show the people who can't read how to be
unhealthy.
> If a case of the clap spreads is it called applause?
If you got it in public, instead of in privates...
> Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?
Ask Weight Watchers.
> Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?
Comes with glue?
> Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
Oh, such burning questions!
> Why are they called "stands" when they're made for sitting?
And why don't bleachers change the color of the pants of the people who
sit in them?
> Why is it called "after dark", when it is really after light?
I know this one. It was originally "after darkness falls", but after
lazy people got a hold of it... Where's the light?
> Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
Nope. Because we don't expect the specifics we can't imagine.
> If FedEx and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUp?
After the boxing match!
> Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
>
> Why do they report power outages on TV? I mean, duh!
So as to explain to concerned relatives why their family members are
ignoring them.
> If the insurance companies are going to set guidelines before approving
> Viagra coverage, what are they going to use? A growth chart?
Would experience a rise in business.
> If a light-sleeper sleeps with a light on, what does a hard-sleeper sleep
> with?
A dildo.
> Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
So we can achieve the wrinkled look.
> Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
We may be, but the floor may be, which is where the towels usually end
up. Ask any parent.
> Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Fictional characters can have whatever they want to. But... Who made
his shorts? And WHY?
> If it's sent by road it's called a shipment, if sent by sea it's cargo?
Doesn't matter if it doesn't arrive.
Y Not :-)
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