Most Embarrassing
The following are the top four winners from a "Most Embarrassing
Moments" contest:
1. "While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold
of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now,'
she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in
a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will
tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!' The
silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers
stopped what they were doing! I mustered up the last of my dignity and
walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard
when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter."
2. "It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home,
but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend
over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we
heard the telephone ring downstairs. I suggested to my
girlfriend that I give her a piggyback ride to the phone. Since we didn't
want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to
the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd
of people yelled, 'SURPRISE!' My entire family--aunts, uncles,
grandparents, cousins, and all my friends were standing there! My
girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock and embarrassment for
what seemed like an
eternity. Since then, no one in my family has planned a surprise party
again."
3. "One of the funniest "most-embarrassing-moment" stories I've come upon
in a long time was about a lady who picked up several items at a discount
store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of
her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker
got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to
hear: 'PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN. TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE.' That was bad
enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood
the word 'Tampax' for 'THUMBTACKS.' In a business like tone, a voice
boomed back over the intercom: 'DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH
YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?'"
4. "This one actually happened at Harvard University in October of this
year in a biology class; the professor was discussing the high glucose
levels found in semen. A young female (freshman) raised her hand and
asked, 'If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose in male
semen as in sugar?' 'That's correct,' responded the professor, going
on to add statistical information. Raising her hand again, the girl
asked, 'Then why doesn't it taste sweet?' After a stunned silence, the
whole class burst out laughing, the poor girl's face turned bright red,
and as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather
implied), she picked up her books with out a word and walked out of
class...and
never returned. However, as she was going out the door, the Professor's
reply was classic... Totally straight-faced he answered her question, 'It
doesn't taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip
of your tongue and not the back of your throat.''
Lil Stinker
|
|