Path: news.nzbot.com!not-for-mail
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: Re: Answering machine at the Mental Hospital...
From: Lil Stinker <anywhere@uwant2.net>
References: <Xns9777DB16EC7591op34j6jrgjuarp34ju6@140.99.99.130> <280220060248049586%%+12$-Y-Not@here.com> <jeXMf.79465$Id3.9134@fe04.news.easynews.com>
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Date: Wed, 01 Mar 2006 01:44:55 GMT
Xref: news.nzbot.com alt.fan.rolex:1141
WingedMessenger <Boy@Flying.High> wrote in news:jeXMf.79465$Id3.9134
@fe04.news.easynews.com:
> "::Y-Not::" <%+12$-Y-Not@here.com> wrote in
> news:280220060248049586%%+12$-Y-Not@here.com:
>
>> In article <Xns9777DB16EC7591op34j6jrgjuarp34ju6@140.99.99.130>, Lil
>> Stinker <anywhere@uwant2.net> wrote:
>>
>>> Hospital Message
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Answering machine at the Mental Hospital...
>>>
>>> "Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline ...
>>>
>>> If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
>>>
>>> If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
>>>
>>> If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
>>>
>>> If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on
>>> the line so we can trace your call.
>>>
>>> If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to
>>> the mother ship.
>>>
>>> If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will
>>> tell you which number to press.
>>>
>>> If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you
>>> press, no one will answer.
>>>
>>> If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
>>>
>>> If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key
>>> until a representative comes on the line.
>>>
>>> If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone
>>> number, date of birth, Social Security number and your mother's
>>> maiden name.
>>>
>>> If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y and
>>> c-a-r-e-f-u- l-l-y press 0 0 0.
>>>
>>> If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep,
>>> or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
>>>
>>> If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
>>>
>>> If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
>>>
>>> If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
>>>
>>> If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
>>>
>>> If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too
>>> busy to talk to you.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Lil Stinker
>>
>> This is incorrect:
>>> If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you
>>> press, no one will answer.
>> Should be "clinically depressed".
>>
>> I think I mentioned this the last time this was posted.
>>
>> Possible addition:
>>
>> If you are passive/aggressive, you'd better not press 1!
>>
>>
>> Y Not :-)
>>
>
> Please help me I have run out of numbers to press.
>
>
> Mercury.
>
And here I thought I was the only one......thanks Mercury.
Back to pushing buttons,
Lil Stinker
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