Path: news.nzbot.com!not-for-mail
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: Re: Answering machine at the Mental Hospital...
From: WingedMessenger <Boy@Flying.High>
References: <Xns9777DB16EC7591op34j6jrgjuarp34ju6@140.99.99.130> <280220060248049586%%+12$-Y-Not@here.com>
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Date: Tue, 28 Feb 2006 12:20:31 GMT
Xref: news.nzbot.com alt.fan.rolex:1137
"::Y-Not::" <%+12$-Y-Not@here.com> wrote in
news:280220060248049586%%+12$-Y-Not@here.com:
> In article <Xns9777DB16EC7591op34j6jrgjuarp34ju6@140.99.99.130>, Lil
> Stinker <anywhere@uwant2.net> wrote:
>
>> Hospital Message
>>
>>
>>
>> Answering machine at the Mental Hospital...
>>
>> "Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline ...
>>
>> If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
>>
>> If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
>>
>> If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
>>
>> If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on
>> the line so we can trace your call.
>>
>> If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to
>> the mother ship.
>>
>> If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will
>> tell you which number to press.
>>
>> If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you
>> press, no one will answer.
>>
>> If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
>>
>> If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key
>> until a representative comes on the line.
>>
>> If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone
>> number, date of birth, Social Security number and your mother's
>> maiden name.
>>
>> If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y and
>> c-a-r-e-f-u- l-l-y press 0 0 0.
>>
>> If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep,
>> or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
>>
>> If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
>>
>> If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
>>
>> If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
>>
>> If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
>>
>> If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too
>> busy to talk to you.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> Lil Stinker
>
> This is incorrect:
>> If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you
>> press, no one will answer.
> Should be "clinically depressed".
>
> I think I mentioned this the last time this was posted.
>
> Possible addition:
>
> If you are passive/aggressive, you'd better not press 1!
>
>
> Y Not :-)
>
Please help me I have run out of numbers to press.
Mercury.
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