Path: news.nzbot.com!not-for-mail
Newsgroups: alt.fan.rolex
Subject: Housekeeping Tips
From: Lil Stinker <anywhere@uwant2.net>
Organization: Olfactory Abusers
Message-ID: <Xns9777DB1757AE81op34j6jrgjuarp34ju6@140.99.99.130>
User-Agent: Xnews/5.04.25
X-No-Archive: yes
Lines: 54
X-Complaints-To: abuse@easynews.com
X-Complaints-Info: Please be sure to forward a copy of ALL headers otherwise we will be unable to process your complaint properly.
Date: Tue, 28 Feb 2006 03:32:14 GMT
Xref: news.nzbot.com alt.fan.rolex:1130
Housekeeping Tips
Tomorrow I will do the housework, NO EXCUSES!!! (unless they're good
ones)
1. It is time to clean out the refrigerator when something closes the
door from the inside.
2. If it walks out of your refrigerator, let it go!
3. The best mini-vac for an after meal clean up is the dog.
4. Keep it clean enough for healthy, dirty enough for happy.
5. Never make fried chicken in the nude.
6. Do not engage in unarmed combat with a dust bunny big enough to choke
the vacuum cleaner.
7. You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to
start all over again.
8. If guys were suppose to hang clothes up, door knobs would be bigger.
9. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
10. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
11. Simplify... hire a maid.
12: My second favourite household chore is ironing. My first being
Hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
13. I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
14. I am a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his
house.
15. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the
bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out
that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim,
"What? And spoil the mood?"
16. When writing your name in the dust on the table, omit the date.
17. If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the
coffee table and insist that "THIS is where Grandma wanted us to scatter
her ashes..."
Lil Stinker
|
|