There once was a Fort Reporter
Who had a great big goiter
He came from a place called Nantucket
And carried his nuts in a bucket
He was larger than the Goodyear blimp
And his penis was always small and limp
His eyes were very beady and crossed
He's on the verge of being usenet TOS'd
His alter-ego was Silver Lead
Who never ever used his head
Or should that be Silver Lead
Who always farted when he pee'd
His performance was less than stellar
For he was blind as Helen Keller
Though he was always there to amuse
As he constantly tripped over his shoes
He was more fun than a chimp
With an organ grinder pimp
He always thought he was clever
Though no one thought it, ever
If it weren't for the voices in his head
Who began talking when he rolled out of bed
He might have been an OK guy
But now he's worse than an irritating stye
His dentist found that he was really bipolar
When he tried to pull his rotten molar
He was always told to beware of his paranoia
For one day it may truly destroy ya
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