In article <1b7fbea0287803ebe52df50fc9ffd4de@dizum.com>, Nomen Nescio
<nobody@dizum.com> wrote:
> There once was a Fort Babysitter
> Who was a terribly mixed up critter
> He hated anyone that was anonymous
> And saw Y-Not in all of us
>
> He was hateful, vile, and mean
> He was really a big fat queen
> We all knew that he was insane
> And he walked with a limp and a cane
>
> He was the biggest usenet clown
> Who we wish would get out of town
> His mother was an overgrown cow
> His father was a big fat sow
>
> He was an only child
> Because his mom had been defiled
> For siblings he never had any
> His invisible friends were many
>
> One day he came into the Fort
> And was an awful terrible sport
> Our Fort history he refuted
> Was all lies to be disputed
>
> His Fort history he would bellow
> And never was he mellow
> He would come to the Fort and report
> And always he would distort
>
> He should go back and sit on the throne
> To comtemplate the disrespect he has shown
> So Fort Babysitter
> Go back and sit on your shitter
>
Interesting. LOL
Stanza three has both parents being female. Intentional? LOL
In stanza four, I would reverse the last two lines.
In the last stanza, I didn't see the point of "throne" until the last
word. Good use of the "punch line" technique. Could the rhyme in the
last couplet have been where you started your poem? It would have been
for me. A natural. LOL
Good work. "I want some more." LOL
Have you thought of trying an oblique approach? Subtle innuendo can
show some cleverness too.
Lookin is doing Nursery Rhymes (and I hope Fairy Tails), but
another idea for you is to parody a well known song, or TV show or
movie plot. (Frankly, I don't give a damn, if you play it again, Sam.)
One poster used to do infomercial parodies and fictional screenplays to
opponents. I wonder if Shakespeare would mind a little plagiarism. LOL
Mover
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