There once was a Fort Reporter
Who was really a big distorter
He had a twisted view of Fort history
Where his ideas came from were a mystery
He always hated the founder NP
We knew it was just out of envy
He said that NP was really KidHacker
Which made him look like a big tally-whacker
He constantly fought with Doc
Who told him it was a load of crock
Because he was here to watch it unfold
Without having to be told
Then he began to attack
Like a rhino on crack
He was mean and without tact
His comments he would never retract
He finally went off the deep end
And never came back around the bend
He rarely ever was kind
Because he had lost his mind
His attacks grew worse over time
And never did he ever rhyme
His personalities voiced much sound
And boy did they abound
We tried to banish him to the fat girl's latrine
But they turned out to be far too mean
As one big mean ugly fat girly
Gave him a tidy-bowl swirly
We told him he could rejoin us in the Fort
If he promised to be a good sport
It didn't take him very long
Before he was singing that same old song
We always thought he appeared crass
Until we learned he was just a dumbass
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