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From: Jack <jack@nimble.qik>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.prettyboy
Subject: Re: This story by 'insane'
Date: Mon, 18 May 2009 18:37:41 -0500
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On Mon, 18 May 2009 6:33:20 -0400, emil sinclair <es@demian.com>
wrote:
>Well ... at least your writing has relatively few careless spelling errors
>(though the first of these occurs only a few sentences in: 'extremly.'
>
>That said, this story is exceedingly empty. Virtually zero thought or
>creativity seems to have gone into it. The characters are barely
>one-dimensional. The boys are interchangeable. The setting barely qualifies
>as generic. There is no conflict, no drama, no tension, no whim or desire
>that is not immediately fulfilled. Time has no particular meaning. There is
>not a single feature of this fictional world that reminds us of real life.
>
>This is, I would say, an unintentional self-portrait of an empty mind. The
>closet thing to a problem that these characters must face is a broken
>air-conditioning system in what seems an affluent home. And the two friends
>face the terrible dilemma of having forgotten their swimming suits! Oh my.
>
>All erotic stories are fantasies, in some way, but a rule of fantasy is that
>it must feel real, within its own boundaries. Think of Narnia. This world is
>just ridiculous. Joshua is nude all the time -- therefore nudity has no
>meaning. He sits around playing Playstation nude. He goes swimming nude. He
>slips on boxer shorts to answer the door, then gets naked again. Yawn.
>
>One marvels to contemplate the kind of life 'insaneforboys' has led, to have
>taught him absolutely nothing.
Perhaps you could show him how it is done, and entertain us with a
story closeter to real life.
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