On Mon, 22 Dec 2008 22:41:08 +0000, Laurence Taylor
<see-headers@nospam.plus.com> wrote:
>XXX wrote:
>> 4s00th <4s00th@hushmail.com> wrote:
>
>>> You've repeatedly blamed society for the harm that comes to children
>>> who become sexually involved with adults -- you blame society for
>>> making the gun.
>>
>> And without the gun there would still be no damage.
>>
>>> But the gun doesn't go off unless someone pulls the trigger; ie, no
>>> child is harmed unless an adult pulls the trigger and gets sexually
>>> involved with a child.
>>
>> Again, without the gun there would be no damage. With the gun there could
>> be damage when someone else (not an adult) pulls the trigger (like when
>> society finds out that a 12-year-old impregnated his 13-year-old girlfriend
>> and charges both with sexual assaulting the other). Safer and better to do
>> away with the gun than to leave it around to be used. It is the gun that
>> is bad.
>
>Yes, but look at it this way: If a child has sex with someone,
>especially an adult, there's a chance that the child would be harmed
>by the experience. In good-to-ideal circumstances, that chance is
>probably pretty low. (And the likelihood of the circumstances being
>good-to-ideal is also pretty low).
>
>However, should anyone in authority find out (which is quite
>possible), the chance of harm occurring rapidly becomes very high. Can
>you allow that harm to occur just because it's someone else's fault?
That's where the metaphor of the gun comes in. Even if it's society's
fault (and I'm not conceding that it always is or even most of the
time is) unless you pull the trigger, no one gets harmed. If the child
came to you, then you have the chance to teach them that it's okay to
say "no." You have the chance to show them that love is better than
sex.
We see so many times that kids find their parents guns with tragic
results -- and there is always an outcry against guns, but the gun was
not the problem, the parents' failing to provide a safe environment is
the problem.
The real problem I have with your (XXX's) attitude is that you seem to
think that the gun can go away -- but it can't. Society is here to
stay, and whether we agree with it on some particular issue or not, we
are stuck living within it. Over time, societal ideals change, we know
this. It hasn't been that long since we used to laugh at the Beverly
Hillbillies and their notion that Elly May was an old maid at the age
of 14. And it hasn't been that long since 14 or so was the average age
at which people got married. But some ideas aren't going to change --
and the fact remains that there are too many ways that sexual activity
can be harmful to children to suddenly allow it to be considered okay,
even if the majority of children of a certain age could handle it if
the societal influence were not there.
And that's where we find issues about conceived imbalances of power --
does the child say yes because that's what the child wants or because
the child believe he or she must? Issues of differences in
understanding -- can a child who does not understand what an orgasm is
have enough knowledge to consent to practice oral sex? All around to
differences in the way adults think as opposed to the way that
children think, depending upon their developmental level. To a kid,
the thrill they get from mooning you might be enough "sex" for them,
though it is not likely to be enough for an adult.
>For me, I simply could not risk the chance that someone I feel for
>could be harmed by things largely out of his (or her) control. While
>sex is nice, safety is nicer, and much more valuable.
>
>Have sex with a kid, and it might result in his/her life being screwed
>up; even if the sex itself isn't the primary cause, it's still the
>underlying factor.
>
>Much better not to, just in case.
And that's why I maintain so steadfastly that it is irresponsible for
any adult to place a child at that risk, especially a child they claim
to love.
-- 4s00th@hushmail.com
If you send email, I will reply to it here at asbl
(without showing your email addy)
unless you ask me not to.
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