Solomon's Private File #388
These stories about Stephen and Solomon take place starting in
1950's. Stephen wrote about his life in letters to a penpal, and then
in a secure blog, in case he lost his memory again, in the master
computer in his school for gifted students, which he started attending
in 2016 in a new incarnation, until his death. Now his son Solomon is
attending the same school, and is writing in his own secure blog for
his future incarnations.
All characters are fictitious, even if some of them might have names
that belong to some actual people, or act like people we know.
Solomon is 33 in this story, in the Spring of 2059.
Solomon's Private File #388 "Bonehead"
START Page
I said to the President of CNN, "I've got an action to share. Has a
lot of wood, that I mentioned before. Actually, a whole world of trees.
It's different, more like a complete science fiction adventure. To get
the most er, out of it, it would need three full shows. If you don't
I gave him the crystal that I had modified to remove the references to
my plant friend. He said, "I have to agree, a real sci fi detective
story. I like it. Good character portraits, and your wit. Can't lose."
I said, "Wouldn't that be for anything of mine?" He grinned, and said,
"Besides that." It was heavily promoted, and run on successive nights
in prime time. It had great ratings and reviews. They loved the last
scene, with me sitting naked with the green kids, carefully and
discretely shot. There was immediate talk of a possible Emmy, but with
the problem of defining its category.
Then scientists and engineers tried to dissect what they saw in
shows, and understand it. They pestered CNN for parts that were left
out, and were told I give them full shows, and they are not allowed to
edit them. That didn't cause much satisfaction. I released a statement.
"To the supposedly intelligent people who are pestering CNN for more
scientific information about the shows; they don't have any more. They
told you they broadcast what I give them if they choose to, without
edits. That means to those with a brain, that CNN doesn't have any more
to give you. Now hear this! You can't learn anything scientifically
useful from these shows. And you definitely are not learning to be
intelligent, or patient, or even polite, from them. One more thing.
You're wasting time. I think your employers might not like to be paying
you for obnoxious useless endeavors. Oh, and do you think I would
endanger this world by showing advanced technology that could be
usefully copied? Should I feel insulted? I'm not, but if you would like
to think I am, I might like that a little." Family and CNN loved that.
Smiles were extra.
In our office in the Bureau, Fatima said to me via mindtalk, "Client
objects to my covered hair. Won't take gentle correction." I said,
"Hold for when I'm available, and then bring him in. It's going to be
interesting!" Grins. My client left, and they came in. She introduced
us. I said to the man, "So, what seems to be the problem?" He said,
"You've got a Muslim here!" I said, "Oh. Well, how do you know that?"
He said, "Because she's wearing a scarf on her hair." I said, "Hmm, are
you inferring that ALL women who wear head scarves are Muslim?" He
said, "Ah, er, in an office, I think so." I said, "Useful to keep wigs
in place. Fast change of hair style when one doesn't have time in the
morning to mess with it." He said, "I didn't think of that." I said,
"That's because you didn't want to. Not what we're looking for in a
prospective Special Agent. And don't you think we would want to know
this HERE?" His mouth dropped open in surprise.
He said, "She did it deliberately?" I said, "Of course! Scarves don't
put themselves on. Convenient to test applicants' reactions, as you
well know, now." After he digested that, I said, "This is America. We
have freedom of religion. The law requires us to not discriminate. We
ARE the law. You should KNOW we would obey it! You are obviously
prejudiced against those of another religion. Which we tested. We are
required to disapprove you. A reminder. You are in a Federal Security
Zone. Making public anything that happens here without express
authorization is a felony. Don't do that." He said, "You would arrest
me if I tell people there is a Muslim here?" I said, "We might. Or we
might like you to make a fool of yourself in doing that. I told you we
are required to obey the law. I think the public might like to know we
do that. You try to say that in a negative way, we might love to play
with that. So, who do you think will come out looking good, or bad? Oh,
and you don't actually know if she's a real Muslim, or is just
pretending to be."
He thought that over. I said, "You're discovering it's not all that
useful to argue with a shrink." He had to grin, and said, "Yes! Well
played. But her name?" I pointed at mine, and said, "Another miss?" He
said, "Oh! Not real. That's devious!" I said, "Thank you." He laughed.
He said, "But ARE there Muslims here?" I said, "We have people of most
religions here, which isn't even on the application. Tell me, if you
wanted to know how the mind of a Muslim terrorist works, of which the
vast majority of Muslims are not, who would be the most qualified to
ask that of?" He said, "OH!" I said, "And we have undercover agents who
need to learn to act like them. How else could they know how to do
that? And the languages. We need translators. If we didn't have all of
that, we would have FAILED in our duty to protect American citizens!"
He said, "I was wrong, very wrong." I said, "I knew that." He had to
chuckle. He said, "I still want to work here." I said, "Not at this
time. Prejudice is one thing, but your failures in observation and
thinking, disqualify you. We kind of prefer people who understand
what's going on around them. But that can be improved. You know what I
mean." He said, "I can try again?" I said, "Minimum six months. Try
some counseling, some courses in comparative religions and police
science, and we'll see. You could also try Scientology for most of
that. Say we refer you, they'll give you a discount. I see. We don't
send them useless people." He said, "Wow! With how I was, I don't
deserve this." I said, "Then you don't know psychologists. Or how many
REAL oddballs we get here." He had to laugh. He said to Fatima, "Ma'am,
I sincerely apologize to you. I was stupid." She said, "Accurate self
diagnosis. I accept." She escorted him to the hall. She came back, and
we hugged and kissed. She said, "You enjoyed that, didn't you?" I said,
"Don't tell me you didn't." Grins. I put crystals of the action on the
desks of personal and the director. They read them and grinned.
A woman came in. She said, "I heard laughter. You have friends visit
here?" I said, "Who likes enemies to visit?" She said, "That's not what
I meant. Personal things on company time?" I said, "Do you think you
should be talking to the head of the department about this?" She said,
"I should. Who is it?" I said, "Me." She said, "Oh." I said, "One of my
psychologists had a problem with an applicant. She brought him to me.
Sometimes a little humor can make disqualification go a little easier.
Shall I try that on you now?" She said, "Oh! Ah, am I disqualified?" I
said, "Is deliberately antagonizing the person who can disqualify you,
the wisest thing to do?" She said, "So you're insulted, and want to get
back at me?" I said, "I'm a psychologist. I'm never insulated by what
anybody does or says. This is all about YOU, and YOUR qualities. You
act like this in ANY job interview, they'll show you the door. Some
might even open it."
She tried not to smile at that, and said, "So you ARE doing that." I
said, "And you know it worked. Been at this a while." She said, "Can we
start this over from the beginning?" I said, "Alright, but I'm not
changing your diapers." She had to laugh. I said, "They heard that out
there! Oh, what have I done!" More laughter. I said, "Actually, they're
used to it. They just nod and think, 'He's converted another enemy.'
When you leave, examine how they look at you." She looked at me in
admiration. I said, after looking in her file, "Office manager. What
made you think we're looking for a martinet?" She grinned, and said, "I
hoped. I'm not really that bad. Just trying to cover my nervousness." I
said, "Did THAT well!" She chuckled. I said, "Most in that position are
inside promotions. Experience counts a lot with us. Your work in DOJ
counts. You know we'll grab reports. Anything you don't want us to see?
Hmm, honesty counts."
She said, "I was interested in a man. He didn't like my expression of
that." I did some work on my computer, and said, "Not in the system."
She said, "Caused a little less glowing evaluation, but no specific
cause. He probably didn't want to make it public." I said, "Most men
don't, for shame, and disbelief. And there's the fear of reversal." She
nodded, and said, "I suspected that. I felt badly for him." I said, "So
you're running away from the problem?" She said, "Something like that.
A change of scenery, at least." We did the tests.
I said, "You're a wolf trying to be in lamb's clothing." She said,
"Oh. Interesting." I said, "Do you like who you are?" She said, "I've
never thought about that." I said, "Men refused you. Why?" She said, "I
don't actually know." I said, "Did you notice any of them looking
around you to see which hand held the whip?" She looked surprised. I
said, "They could see it in your face, and in your body language." She
said, "Looking back on it, I think I see something that could be like
that." I said, "I'm going to have to disqualify you for psychological
reasons. I know you understand that." She said, "I do. I need
counseling. Do you have a practice?" I said, "I'm sorry, I can't see
you outside of here. Security issues. But here's a list of some good
people. No, I can't be specific. Unprofessional." She smiled, and said,
"I understand." I said, "We'll hold your application for a year." She
said, "Thank you!" I went with her to the office manager, and said,
"These two are holds." Applicant said to me, "You were right." Smiles.
She left. Office manager said to me, "What was that about?" I said,
"Your reaction to the laughter. A turned enemy." She grinned, and said,
"I see. That noticeable?" I said, "Not really, if they don't look for
it. She asked about the previous laughter, and not in a good way. A
tough one. Tenderized her." Grins.
A man came into my temp office for political appointment approval. He
said, "So you're running the government." I said, "Is the government
perfect? No? So obviously I'm not running it. Why didn't you know
that?" He said, "I assumed." I said, "Do that often?" He said, "I don't
know." I said, "Think about it. I'll wait." He just stared at me. After
two minutes, I said, "So, what have you thought?" He said, "I don't
know." I said, "That's too bad. We're not going to continue this.
People who might want to hire you really do want to know if you can
think, and well. You REALLY aren't showing that. Have a nice day. Hmm,
you're still here. Glued to the chair?" He said, "This isn't right!" I
said, "Correct. You're still here." He said, "You aren't a REAL job
interviewer!" I said, "Correct again. A real one would have already
called security and had them drag you out of here." He said, "You're
going to report this?" I said, "By the agreement, yes, they'll get a
recording of this, with my shrink evaluation. Want to bet who they'll
agree with?" He said, "They'll agree with ME!" I said, "You're making
it worse for you." He said, "I am not!" I said, "And that's another
reason why you aren't going to be hired. Your opinions don't show much
thought behind them, and don't match reality. Going to say more to help
them to really not hire you?"
He left in an angry hurry. I sent a crystal recording of that, and my
comment of, "Lack of intelligence. What he has, is practically
ossified. Yes, a good example of a bonehead. Self absorbed to the
extent that if you put him near a pool, you might have to refill it. He
can't be for something, only against, and only that which would make
him appear even less intelligent, and louder and more foolish. He'll
stagger into any serious discussion he can find, and sabotage it with
loud stupidity, and never realize it. He's a partially ambulatory full
disaster to any responsible office. He's going to complain to you. If
you want to make all of this public, if he makes trouble, I'm all for
it." She read it and laughed, and said, "I hope he does make trouble!"
I sent her some love.
He did go see the head of DOJ, and she said to him, "I have the
recording and evaluation." He said, "May I see it?" She said, "No." He
said, "I demand to see it!" She said, "Alright, you're going to see it.
So will everybody else, including a recording of this. On the news. Sol
said you might do this. Thank you for proving him right about you. Now
leave, before I have you arrested for being disruptive in my office!"
He left, still angry. I shifted to her office, and said, "All but your
after reading comment?" She said, "Fine!" We grinned and hugged. I
shifted to the office of the pres of CNN. I said, "Got something for
you, you might not want to have your people see your reaction to." He
read the crystal, and laughed loudly. I said, "I don't usually make
these things public, but we never actually did a real job interview,
and he was obviously not going to keep quiet about it. So we need to
show the truth, because he sure won't. Added to the beginning." He
said, "Good as a disclaimer. We'll run it right away, and often." I
said, "Try to keep them from grinning too much. Fox will make up for
that." Chuckles.
And that's what happened. It was very popular, and the comedians
really ran with it. He's now known as "The Bonehead", and is REALLY not
liking it. Good. A chance it might help to motivate him to change for
the better.
END Page
--
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Grant
|
|