Xref: news.nzbot.com alt.fan.prettyboy:19345
Path: news.nzbot.com!spool1.sonic-news.com!pull-news.sonic-news.com!xmission!newsfeed1.swip.net!news.astraweb.com!border6.a.newsrouter.astraweb.com!not-for-mail
From: bendog2000 NP-d09
Newsgroups: alt.fan.prettyboy
Subject: Re: WTF? An unusual predicament ...
Date: Wed, 06 Nov 2013 09:33:25 +0000
Message-ID: <n63k799jialc0sthb9oikqqnab1katufqp@4ax.com>
References: <up2i79t6cb796g040fahrpjj97nusicr7n@4ax.com>
User-Agent: ForteAgent/7.20.32.1218
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Lines: 82
Organization: Unlimited download news at news.astraweb.com
NNTP-Posting-Host: 90227b2c.news.astraweb.com
X-Trace: DXC=VP5]VDkdkM0RI=Qc=OLNJ2L?0kYOcDh@:I_hUg]`0Y_<PSOH`o[`h6>[hjb`Hk29D4H@=FI<nX]O7Nio>E6n]Mf2hgA_7T@:?1<7[NJ08C?I@1
:-)
Hug
bd
On Tue, 05 Nov 2013 10:42:45 -0500, 4s00th
<formerly_4s00th@hushmail.com> wrote:
>Some of you, I'm sure, are aware that I suffer from chronic health
>problems -- I haven't gone into depth with them because the condition
>that created them all is somewhat rare; if I were really concerned
>about security, I would even suggest it would really narrow down
>identifying information about me! And, of course, the symptoms aren't
>pleasant, and while I have no difficulty discussing them with friends,
>a lot of people would find some of the things I talk about to be ....
>let's just be polite and say, "unusual." Others might say
>"embarrassing" or even "rude!"
>
>That, of course, has contributed to my long history of depression,
>although that has a longer-standing cause. None of these things are
>all that important except to point out that I've suffered from
>depression since I was about 8 years old. I didn't know it so much
>then, but looking back I see the signs. When you're that young,
>depression often gets expressed as frustration -- and thus anger.
>
>Recently, I've had trouble remembering to take my multitudes of
>medication. So, maybe I'd get two doses of medicines out of 3 right
>about 4 or 5 times a week. I almost always got the morning dose right
>because that's when I take my first dose of pain medicine -- and
>that's pretty hard to forget to take when you hurt! And going on and
>off medication has created problems that I won't discuss here -- so I
>finally decided to stop taking a lot of it -- especially the
>anti-depressants. Surprisingly enough, my mood has shown so much
>improvement that I actually had an episode last week that took me a
>good while to figure out what it was!
>
>Seriously, I got some great news about a friend's health and a
>procedure he had undergone. A while later, I was trying to get to
>sleep, when suddenly I noticed this feeling in my chest. I swear, the
>image I had in my mind was like in those cartoons where a character
>gets run over by a steam-roller and then another character has to get
>a bicycle pump and pump them up, over-inflating them in the process
>until they go flying off wily-nily. It wasn't heartburn -- I know that
>feeling only too well! And then it hit me -- it was joy! Pure,
>unbridled joy and happiness! I'm glad I figured out what it was, it
>was actually kind of scary! I mean, the last time I remember feeling
>anything like that, I was 16 and my guidance counselor was telling me
>that my test scores pretty much ensured that I could get into any
>college I wanted to go to -- and that I might be able to get an
>academic scholarship on top of that. I went back to class from that
>meeting shaking. Of course, it actually took some of the joy out of
>getting my letter of acceptance from University of Virginia, but there
>you go.
>
>FTR, I think I understand the thing with the medicine -- when my
>depression would get worse, we'd just add more medicine. At least some
>of the times, we should have tried changing the medicine altogether,
>but that's not how we do things in the US -- we just throw more at the
>problem. Let's add another pill! More pills, more money -- even when
>we know the solution isn't working, we figure if we spend more on the
>solution, somehow it will suddenly start working!
>
>So, after nearly 40 years of mostly depression, after 40 years of not
>finding a lot of joy or happiness in my life, I have this sudden
>influx of good feelings. Maybe I'm just doomed. You know, the kind of
>guy who roots through a box of gold and can only complain about the
>tarnish! But now I find I'm scared as hell -- scared that the
>depression will come back and take that all away again. I'll freely
>admit that I couldn't live with the kind of joy I felt the other night
>-- that was great, but it's not something I could take for more than
>hour or two! But it was great that I still felt the happiness after
>the flat-out joy.
>
>Sometimes, I really don't know.
>
>But I have added this to the list of things that people never tell you
>... but probably should.
>
>Love,
>Steve
>
>-- l00sescrew@hushmail.com
|
|