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From: Doc NP-f31
Newsgroups: alt.fan.prettyboy
Subject: [AFP] The Kindness of Boys
Date: Thu, 28 Feb 2013 19:28:42 -0500
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A really unexpected and wonderful thing has been happening over the
past few months. One of the boys in my life, Mac, who is now a Senior
in High School, and I had a conversation back last summer. Some of you
may remember Mac, he posted in The Fort a couple of times along with
T-Bone, who is currently serving in Afghanistan.
In the middle of our heart-to-heart conversation, Mac asked me what my
greatest fear was. His was simple, T-Bone was about to be deployed and
he was fearful that Bone wouldn't make it home in one piece. We'd been
talking about that and he asked me what my biggest fear was.
I told him that I feared that someday I'd be confined to a nursing
home and I'd never get to see a boy again. You don't see many kids at
nursing homes, only adult children. I'm sure that when my time comes
to be cared for full time, my grandchildren will come and visit and
maybe even bring my great-grandchildren in to see me. But I imagine it
would be traumatic to a child to see a smelly, wrinkled up old man. I
hope to do better by my grandchildren than that, but it IS my biggest
fear.
A couple of months later Mac called me to tell me about a new friend
he'd made. On his own, Mac decided to visit a nursing home about four
blocks from his house. He went in on a Saturday and sat down on the
porch with a few of the male residents and just started talking to
them. His goal was to befriend one of them and visit him regularly.
He said it was an eye opening effect that he had on them. There were
three who were very communicative and they almost competed for his
attention. He ended up 'adopting' a man named Lou because Lou seldom
got visitors.
Mac has really gotten to know Lou, who is a Korean War veteran, a
widower, has two kids and bunch of grand kids
and now bunch of great grandkids too, none of whom he never sees. Mac
has told me that his journey has been an education. Lou has lived a
lifetime and has a lifetime of stories to share. Mac says that to see
life through someone else's eyes is a gift. Lou has good days and bad
days like everyone does, but when Mac shows up, no matter how Lou had
been feeling, he cheers up quickly. Mac says that it gives him a good
feeling to bring a little joy into someone else's life.
And Lou has taken an interest in Mac too. He asked Mac some months
ago if he had a girlfriend. Mac said, "I am very much in love with
someone." Lou asked what her name was. Mac said, "His name is T-Bone."
Lou looked up at him a little startled, I imagine, and Mac said it was
hard to hold his gaze because he was nervous about sharing that
intimate information. Mac said that Lou reached up and touched Mac's
face and sort of lifted up his chin. He said Lou searched his eyes for
a long time and he finally said, 'He's one hell of a lucky guy". Mac
said that he (Mac) teared up pretty badly. Lou, who had not really
ever thought much about gay people in general, and never about a gay
teen, has been very sweet and respectful of Mac. More recently Mac has
told me that Lou will not stand for gay jokes in his presence out of
respect for Mac.
So, the two of them are like peas and carrots. Mac has told
Lou all about me being his surrogate 'Dad' and that Lou said it takes
a special kind of man to be a father to a kid that isn't his. That was
the day that Mac told Lou that the reason he started coming to visit
and made friends with Lou is because I'd told him about my biggest
fear. He said Lou bit his lip and big, fat tears rolled down his
cheeks and he even had to take off his glasses and blow his nose. He
said, 'So, I have your Dad to thank for having my very own angel.'
An interesting thing happened when Lou's adult kids found out about
Mac. They suddenly started visiting their father regularly, and they
make Lou's grandkids come and bring the little ones in too. They also
gave permission for Mac to take Lou off premises do stuff together. I
think those developments are remarkable. he says he feels like a real
part of that family now. There has been no resentment and they think
he is wonderful (which he is!).
Mac has created this really wonderful friendship with Lou that is
completely fulfilling for the both of them. Lou asks about T-Bone
every time Mac comes over. Mac took him a photo of T-Bone that he
printed out to make it big enough for Lou to see well. Lou said,
'Well, I can see why you fell in love with him. He's as pretty as just
about any girl you'd get to see'. (The picture was taken before Bone
had all of his hair shaved off! LOL!) I think the whole thing is
remarkable and to think that he started doing it because of my fears
is very humbling. I am due to meet Lou this summer.
When I think about the whole process, it amazes me. Because I loved a
boy and made a difference in his life, an elderly and lonely man I
never met had his life changed because the boy I loved, loves him.
Boys amaze me sometimes...
Doc
NP-f31
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