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From: nesScitur@husShmail.com (Ronin)
Newsgroups: alt.fan.prettyboy
Subject: Re: Have you ever wondered about...
Date: Fri, 21 Oct 2011 11:19:06 GMT
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On Thu, 20 Oct 2011 17:20:38 -0400, Doc NP-f31 wrote:
: On Thu, 20 Oct 2011 10:12:31 GMT, nesScitur@husShmail.com (Ronin)
: wrote:
>> X-No-Archive: yes
>> On Wed, 19 Oct 2011 19:19:52 -0400, Doc NP-f31 wrote:
>>> Hey Fortsters,
>>> Maybe it's just because I'm built the way I am that makes things like
>>> this occur to me, but I often wonder about WHY I am a boylover. What
>>> made me this way? I think I have a pretty good grasp on why I ended up
>>> a BL and it's because I was molested by my Uncle from the ages of
>>> 8-14, whcih just happens to be the range of my AOA.
>> Or, perhaps, it is because the reduction in childhood mortality resulting
>> from adults paying close attention to juveniles of their species, at ages
>> when their enthusiasm and curiosity vastly exceed experience and caution,
>> drives the evolution of that species towards adults who are hard-wired to
>> pay close attention to juveniles; and that the hard-wiring operates on a
>> pleasure-of-their-company basis.
>> Is it perhaps the adults who do *not* "find children attractive" that are
>> "abnormal"?
: Hey Ronin!
: How very true. My suspicion is that the majority of people DO find
: children attractive and it scares the hell out of the ones who realize
: it.
And -- remember <The Adjusted American>? -- makes those who do *not*
realize it see a paederast behind every bush.
>> After about age 8, a child's grin shows adult upper front teeth, marking
>> the end of little-kidhood. After about age 14, bone growth changes the
>> from a child's shallow/light one into an adult's deep/heavy one, and the
>> skull itself into one in which the eyes, which were about three-quarters
>> of their adult size at birth, no longer seem *large*; and that marks the
>> end of perceived kidhood, period: this child no longer requires constant
>> attention, say all the indicia.
>> And, as evolution apparently agrees, this is probably so.
>> The term "molestation" is, shall we say, *unhelpful*: depending on its
>> user, it might denote anything from mere physical contact to consensual
>> sexual intercourse -- as well as its base sense of unwelcome intrusion,
>> physical or otherwise.
: I am considering those boylovers who, like me, were sexually abused as
: kids. In my case, molestation is a kind way to put it. What it was,
: was sadism in a very real sense. Knowing me as well as you do, you
: will understand when I point out that my wn experiences have been a
: prime motivation to come out as a BL and work toward the safety and
: well being of boys.
Note that the linkage of the concept "child" with the concept "sex"
provokes such panic in Grownup minds that there is no separate word
for *sexual activity forced upon an unwilling child*: they consider
*all* sexual activity involving a child as "abuse" -- even activity
which involves *only* that child, all by (as they say) *itself*.
It appears, however, that the word "rape" fits quite well here, no?
>> (And, in most children's lives, the most unwelcome intrusions are those
>> of She Who Must Be Obeyed, a figure of enormous Power; one wonders how
>> much of the -- admittedly rare -- (more-or-less) sexual activity forced
>> on children by a stranger replays the stranger's childhood experiences,
>> or is simply the stranger channelling SuperMum.)
And perhaps that forced on children by the occasional uncle as well?
>> How does one describe what is happening to an 8-year-old boy who is --
>> again -- sitting between the legs of a grownup, belt unbuckled, zipper
>> unzipped, not resisting what the grownup's hands are -- again -- doing
>> between *his* legs, not minding -- again -- what actually feels rather
>> nice, but feeling -- again -- more than a little guilty about letting
>> him do it and about at least kinda liking it, and on the edge of panic
>> -- again -- that someone might suddenly come in? Especially his Mum?
>> Can one argue that his non-resistance amounts to consent? And that he
>> has not attempted to avoid the grownup after what is happening now has
>> happened several times previously amounts to informed consent? If so,
>> what, if anything, does that imply about the boy?
: As you noted before, perhaps it is subjective and depends upon the
: boy. I know MANY boys (some who are now men) who clearly understood
: that what was happening to them was abuse. Many tried to stop it in
: the limited ways a ten year old has. If Mum and Dad are asleep at the
: wheel, the kid is essentially powerless agaisnt an agressive abuser. I
: liked it the first time. Subsequent experiences were more than
: unpleasant. My Mom, my Grandmother, aunts, Uncles, no one questioned
: my bruises, no one comforted my tears, no one lifted a finger about my
: complaints. Perhaps because I was too ashamed and unclear about what
: was done to my butt, because I didn't have the words for it at age 8
: or 9, I never mentioned that stuff to them. Maybe it was my fault for
: not telling. What does that say about me?
I suspect that it says that you realized, however dimly, that you could
be setting yourself up for a world of grief if you *did* tell.
"Unclear about what was done" is not the problem, as a simply detailing
of *what was done* would entirely suffice; and nor is the necessity of
breaking the taboos, learned at an early age, against talking about the
NastyFilthyDisgustingWeDoNotEvenMentionEver. Rather, I believe, it is
the necessity of telling that *what was done* was done more than once.
"You *let* him do the NastyFilthyDisgusting to you!" is quite likely to
be followed by "You little pervert!"; and if it is not, you will still
be Damaged Goods; and in any event, it would doubtless become a matter
of general knowledge among your agemates -- they of the famously tender
mercies -- within days.
And all of this assumes that your Grownups would believe what you said,
rather than your uncle's version (or denial) of the events; and if they
did not, you would *still* be considered Damaged Goods, for having come
up with such a NastyFilthyDisgusting pack of lies in the first place.
Perhaps, after all, better to suffer in silence.
>> Is the boy being, in any objective sense, harmed? If so, how? And if
>> not, why not?
>> Is there anything *wrong*, here? If so, what? And by what standard?
>>> I know other guys who were just born that way. Maybe there's a lot of
>>> others who have given the subject some thought. I'd be interested in
>>> reading about your opinions or suspicions.
>> If "BL" follows "M", does that make "M" the cause of "BL"? Or is "BL"
>> the natural state, which would have in any event resulted, and the "M"
>> a (remembered fondly or otherwise) coincidence?
: I think it is different for everyone, and that is what I'm trying to
: determine. I know BLs who were never touched as boys and never touched
: a boy,but they had the feelings and knew it was different from being
: 'gay'.
>>> Do you remember the first boy you were physcially attracted to?
>> The term "physical attraction" seems likewise problematic, as one would
>> hardly expect that a *BL* and his *LB* sitting absolutely motionless on
>> adjacent air pucks would be drawn together by that notional "force".
>> It would probably be in any event more precise to speak of "attraction
>> to the physical form" -- BoyBody -- in which a boy walks around, which
>> is not the same thing as *attraction to the personality* of what walks
>> around in that BoyBody -- dh, the Boy: the *hardware*, one might say,
>> as contrasted with the *software*.
: Maybe not. I was really thinking in terms of the first time you
: (Boylover) looked at a boy and felt that special something, love if
: you will, or attraction. My first time, it wasn't a sexual feeling, I
: just wanted to be close to him. I'd already been sexual at that point
: and sexual attraction was not on my mind, though it may have been in
: my subconscious.
>> What Boy was ever more loved in The Fort than MTB -- of whose BoyBody
>> no more is known than it was "ginger-haired"?
: He was cute, take my word for it. Skinny as hell and cute.
>>> Did you gradually become aware that you were different? Did it hit you
>>> all at once?
>>> Please share if you have a mind to,
>> Indeed; but it would be well to keep in mind that Big Bother [sic]
>> is watching, and it might be advisable to give him no further cause
>> to trace your IP address back to your home address ...
>>> Doc
>>> NP-f31
>> Ronin
: The point of my post was to create a series of posts to help others
: work through their sexuality in the vernacular. There are people here
: who come for the pictures. If I can get them thinking about the whys
: and why nots, then it is a useful exercise. I am not asking anyone to
: write about anything illegal, just opinions and memories, thoughts and
: emotions. Your point is well taken and your post insightful as always.
: Much love,
: Doc
: NP-f31
Ronin
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