Do you have a "dream boy"?
I don't merely mean a boy who fits your ideal of beauty, a boy you'd
love to meet and spend some time with in some way. I mean a boy who
visits you in your dreams?
I do.
His physical description is unimportant, because though he is certainly
perfect to my eye, I would expect your dream boy would be perfect to
your eye, and others to theirs.
But beyond his static image, he moves in four dimensions like any real
boy. His every movement is a graceful dance. It is not a seduction,
because he doesn't need to put on a show. He cannot help but move in
just the way that draws me to him.
Pictures are nice to look at, and some capture "perfect moments" with
something close to real emotion, real meaning, but without depth in
three dimensions, a boy is just a postcard. Without movement, a boy is
not a boy, but a statue. My dream boy moves. He moves before me. He
moves toward me.
How many times do boys we know in the real world move toward us and we
have to run through the "real-world checklist of possible
interactions"? Like the Terminator's heads-up display with a list of
possible choices of dialog and potential actions, no matter who is
coming toward us, friends or foes, we have to be ready for anything.
Rarely do we know exactly what to do, and how the other will react.
It's a complicated game.
With my dream boy, I have only one possible reaction because there is
only one motive to his approach. He wants me to hold him. I hold him.
When I do, I often awaken, jarred by the power of the moment. This is
the boy I was made for and who was made for me. There is no better
feeling than to embrace him with all of my love. It is an embrace that
erases the lines between us and we are one.
Just the other morning, I held him in that perfect embrace and
remembered that he is a dream, he is part of me. Dreams are never
lies. This dream was a perfect truth. My dream boy and I truly ARE
one. I held him in this awareness. I let myself feel that love and
allowed it to melt away the anger and the tension that built up over
the day before. All that is wrong, hateful, and hurtful in this world
was dissolved and I awoke to a feeling of perfect love and peace.
I will miss my dream boy until he returns again. I will try to linger
longer with him more each time.
Doc, and anyone reading this, I wish for you that feeling of perfect
love and peace and for it to stay with you through each day.
Until we are all free to live as we are, and until boys are free to
love who they wish because they are respected and properly prepared
with the knowledge and judgement to choose wisely, my dream boy
comforts me and reassures me that I deserve that love and peace.
TM
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