acute gout attack, started out in one ankle but is now in both -- can
barely put any weight on either of them. My luck, because of changes
by the FDA, I had let one of my meds slip -- the FDA has removed all
generic versions of the med off the market claiming that some of the
formulas had other stuff in them that could be harmful -- but not
necessarily. The only pharmacy in town that had the non-generic meds
was an obscure little pharmacy on the other side of town -- that
closed minutes after I called to see how much the medicine would cost
so I could send my brother to get it. My other brother was out of town
and could not pick it up until ALSO after the pharmacy closed.
fortunately, i did get some relief last night and got some sleep, but
I was awakened after my fever broke around 5:30. i have cat-napped
some since and am now waiting for my brother who is working in town
today to come by and bring the medicine which should help dissolve the
uric acid crystals that have formed in my joints. However, I have
almost run out of my pain meds and since the doctor now requires that
only I can pick up the new prescriptions from their office, and I
cannot get out of the house due to the gout. can't sit up long as it
is not good for me to leave my ankles on the floor instead of having
them up, and even having them up hurts! seriously -- it hurts when you
move the joint, it hurts when you don't move the joint, it hurts when
you try to hold the joint unmoving and whatnot. it fucking hurts like
a bastard. am getting to the bathroom with the help of my father's old
wheel chair -- thankfully. but it only gets me so far -- bathroom is
long and narrow and i can just get past the door.
prayers or whatever you happen to believe in would be welcome.
seriously, want to gnaw my leg off above the ankle as pain sometimes
radiates up the leg into the knee and along back of thigh kind of like
sciatica. am feeling so lost, wish I could see Kavanna, my Libera
sweetie. prolly doesn't remember me from Atlanta, but that's prolly
the way it should be -- still, fell in love when I saw him sing; wish
I could have had him sing a little song just for me so that I would
recognize his voice on the recordings, but less important than just
his incredible love for singing and the tons of effort he puts into
his singing.
am sorry to hear from the kits that I am not myself, which I find
horribly sad. Still, if i'm not myself then I must not be in the
horrible pain that I am in. don't i wish. do wish people would stop
baiting the kits, tho -- remember, when you get into a shouting match
with someone who is mentally ill, it is awful difficult for observers
to tell which is which. and while I would not attempt to diagnose over
the internet, someone certainly acts like someone with schizophrenia,
paranoid type. kits mean well, but difficult to hold it together.
however, I am not doc or y-not or grant or anybody else i'm suddenly
(once again) supposed to be. wish kits would concentrate on really
awesome work and creative efforts -- love that work. and was so nice
to add a few of my faves -- Shane Sinutku (sp) and the incredibly
beautiful Fritz. For those special works, I thank the kits a great
deal. Meant a lot to me that he went out of his way on the Shane
picture because I had mentioned that he had been one of my very first
major crushes, tho the boy is actually a year older than me! From the
moment I saw him in that episode of Quincy about child abuse, he had
my heart. Even tho I was horribly confused about what it all meant
back then being pre-pubertal myself.
anyway, my friend Leslie used to say that she could tell when things
were really bad if i wasn't worrying about punctuation & grammar and
just trying to get quick message out!
'preciating the prayers & whatnots in advance
love,
-- 4s00th@hushmail.com
My email is always available for those looking for and willing to supply support in the effort to remain boy-lovers and not become child-molesters de jure if not de facto.
|
|