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From: HMS Victor Victorian <victorvictorian@hushunomail.com>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.prettyboy
Subject: Re: Boys in their Element(repost)
Date: Wed, 25 Aug 2010 08:31:47 -0600
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On 25 Aug 2010 01:46:01 -0500, Morpheus <Morpheus@dreamland.com>
wrote:
>On Tue, 24 Aug 2010 14:43:03 -0700, HMS Victor Victorian wrote
>(in article <ece876d2j64al5no5nnggh8f11atopevm3@4ax.com>):
>
>> On 24 Aug 2010 15:52:01 -0500, Morpheus <Morpheus@dreamland.com>
>> wrote:
>>
>>> On Tue, 24 Aug 2010 09:16:06 -0700, Z NP-f6 wrote
>>> (in article <umq776tuv4sjb3q8b7cosfn2lp05usa2o6@4ax.com>):
>>>
>>>> On Sun, 22 Aug 2010 10:30:47 -0400, NP-f31 wrote:
>>>>
>>>> (snip)
>>>>>
>>>>> What I've learned is my kid IS paying attention, and not just when I
>>>>> tell him 'this is something you need to remember'. He is modelling
>>>>> himself after me. That is what Dads are for. That is what boylovers
>>>>> should aspire to be. For all the beauty of a boy and all the
>>>>> enchantment he can bring to your life, what is important is what YOU
>>>>> can mean for HIM. Even when you have less access to a boy, like with
>>>>> me and T-Bone or Mac, the time you spend with them talking and doing
>>>>> things has an accumulative effect. Even if you're just cutting up and
>>>>> having fun, they ARE watching and what you do for them has a lifelong
>>>>> effect. I pray that every boylover who is brave and lucky enough to
>>>>> take on a loved boy remembers that whether he tries purposefully or
>>>>> not, he IS having a permanent impact on the boy he loves. By loving
>>>>> your boy unselfishly, you guarantee that your legacy will be a
>>>>> positive one.
>>>>>
>>>>> Love,
>>>>>
>>>>> Doc
>>>>>
>>>>> PS-Sorry Z if that last paragraph came off a bit preachy. I know you
>>>>> get it, but you're not the only one who will read this. Mea culpa.
>>>>
>>>> Not at all preachy, Doc! Look around and everywhere people are fouling
>>>> up kids by sending them the wrong messages.
>>>>
>>>> Given my circumstances and character I know that I will never be able
>>>> to bring up a kid but I try with all the kids I meet to remember that,
>>>> even with the most casual meetings, they are watching and learning!
>>>>
>>>> It's easier for part-time people like me than for committed people
>>>> like you which is why I respect what you do so much.
>>>>
>>>> On a more mundane note, don't let that youngest boy of yours get
>>>> swollen-headed.
>>>>
>>>> Love from Z
>>>
>>> Absolutely true.
>>>
>>> The question is NEVER if a kid learns anything. They are doing nothing
>>> else
>>> all the time.
>>>
>>> The question is WHAT did they learn? WHAT did you teach them?
>>
>> Dearest Morpheus,
>>
>> I think you've made an astute observation and query. I have always
>> suspected, although also having acknowledged that my belief may
>> simply be a reflection of my own insecurities and perceived failings,
>> that the impact parents make on the enculturation of their children,
>> is highly over-estimated. A parent or parent-surrogate who might
>> believe himself to be successful would, of course, stringently
>> disagree, but I hold that a child's personality is fairly properly
>> forged by the age of two, and that those who make the greatest
>> immediate and long-lived impact on his enculturation are not his
>> parents, nor adults at all.
>>
>> It is his peers.
>>
>> So, in general, what children have learned is not what we as parents
>> or adults think they've learned, and what we taught them not at all
>> the content that they gleened from us.
>>
>> Oh, and by the way ... I must state here that I am rather tired of the
>> admonition of what messages we are sending to our youngsters. Nowadays
>> we seem to always be sending messages--the wrong ones usually. If
>> only half of the messages we were supposedly sending were actually
>> sent, we'd not be able to converse due to the cacaphony of
>> exhortations!
>>
>> And I'd also like people to cease and desist criticising the chubby
>> youngsters, and the skinny ones, and the ones who are overly shy or
>> overly energetic, and the kids who aren't making the grade.
>>
>> Oh, and stop, please, medicating them for these imagined deficiencies
>> as well.
>>
>> Sincerely,
>> HMS Victor Victorian, NP-g18
>>
>> God Save the Queen.
>> God Bless the Prince of Wales.
>> God Preserve the Windsors.
>> Rule Britannia!
>
>I think research has been done showing the strong effect peers have on child
>behavior. But there are other strong factors as well including inherited
>tendancies, parental behavior, etc.
>
>My point was that kids are sponges, they soak up everything. They are very
>observant and, for the most part, very astute and well tuned in to emotional
>nuance. They learn at a very young age to respond to their mother's mood.
>
>I think that the view that personality is determined by age two is not
>well-supported. Kids at that age are still developing quite a bit
>cognitively. Their ability to form cause and effect relationships and to
>project into the unseen is a bit limited.
>
>But even if we move that age back, to 9 say, to say that personality is
>determined would lead to the notion that people can't change their
>fundamental make up, yet we know that many people do exactly that.
>
>
>
Dear Morpheus,
Accept my apologies for misunderstanding your intent. Such happens
when the listener's listening is flawed due to having an agenda
plugging the auditory receptors! I may be suffering that ailment!
You may wish to review the evidence provided by research into child
growth and development. When it comes to the human species, one must
always apply the term "generally". People may indeed fundamentally
change the basic elements of their personalities--their fundamental
makek-up, but generally I believe they do not. Nor do they have a
choice in the matter, really.
Yes. Children are sponges. Dickie was constantly badgering me for a
quid or two! Now as an adult, I regret to say, he solicits
considerably more!
Sincerely,
HMS Victor V.
God Save the Queen.
God Bless the Prince of Wales.
God Preserve the Windsors.
Rule Britannia!
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