Path: news.nzbot.com!spool1.sonic-news.com!news-out.sonic-news.com!not.news-service.com!not.alt.net!not.highwinds-media.com!t4!artnm!t3!feeder.news-service.com!feeder2.cambriumusenet.nl!feed.tweaknews.nl!postnews.google.com!news2.google.com!npeer03.iad.highwinds-media.com!news.highwinds-media.com!feed-me.highwinds-media.com!nx02.iad01.newshosting.com!newshosting.com!news-out.readnews.com!transit3.readnews.com!216.40.28.145.MISMATCH!novia!novia!sequencer.newscene.com!not-for-mail
From: Mover <Mover@Watch-Me.com>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.prettyboy
Subject: Re: +*+*+*+ The Adventures of Stevie #7 "Jerk" +*+*+*+
Date: 16 Jun 2010 03:42:01 -0500
Organization: Move He - Thee Ate Her
Lines: 126
Message-ID: <160620100440128683%Mover@Watch-Me.com>
References: <Grant-me-that-1406101@Grant.Grant>
Reply-To: Mover
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1
Content-transfer-encoding: 8bit
User-Agent: Thoth/1.8.3 (Macintosh)
X-No-Archive: yes
Xref: news.nzbot.com alt.fan.prettyboy:10878
In article <Grant-me-that-1406101@Grant.Grant>, +Grant.
<+Grant@grant.grant> wrote:
> The Adventures of Stevie #7
>
> These stories were told to me by friends and other people. Some of them
> are true. Some of them are only partly true. Some of them should have
> been true. LOL
>
> My first post about Stevie ("Call me Stephen!") was when he was 12 and
> in summer camp and was told by another camper. This was from a time
> before computers would fit on a desk and when people communicated with
> friends in other countries by actual letters sent through the postal
> service. When children did this those friends were called "penpals".
> Carlos is Stevie's penpal in Argentina and knows English. This is a
> fictional contrivance to enable Stevie to tell us his stories because
> he isn't here in person. I think.
> The stories may not be posted in chronological order.
> Stevie's new school is for gifted children who don't fit in regular
> schools.
> Stevie is 10 in this story, which takes place three weeks after story #6
>
>
> The Adventures of Stevie #7 "Jerk"
>
>
> Dear Carlos,
>
>
> I started gong to the new school. I'm learning a whole lot. I hope
> you can tell that when I write things better. I'm not allowed to tell
> people about it but you are not people you are Carlos so I will. Ha ha.
> We have to drive an hour to get there. I throw up in the car sometimes.
> That wouldn't be so bad if Linda didn't scream so loud. Mother drives
> me and Linda who is 12 to school because she lives nearby and goes to
> the same school. Linda has the biggest nose anybody ever had. If she
> turns her head fast I have to dodge it or get hit by it. If she needs
> to sneeze I hope she sticks her head out the window pointing back so we
> can go a lot faster. If she gets a cold her nose would run a marathon.
> I should warn people in her classes to watch out if she is about to
> sniff so they can hold onto their chairs so they won't get sucked in. I
> hope she brings some buckets and king size sheets for when she needs to
> blow her nose. Mother says Linda will never get a husband because of
> that gigantic honker. Thats strange because Mothers short best friend
> weighs 500 pounds and she found a husband like that and he teaches me
> music. If that gigantic beach ball can so can banana face.
>
> There are only enough kids in the school to fill one regular classroom
> and we are in a very big building with a lot of hallways and rooms. I
> think it was a regular adult school before. Students here are ages 10
> to 17. I am the youngest by 2 months. We have a lot of teachers. Only a
> few are here all the time. The others change when we learn different
> things and we can learn anything we want to. The first thing I have to
> learn is communication so I'm studying language. How it works and
> different languages which are very funny when you get to know them. I
> can really learn here because I don't have to get bored with slow
> learners holding everything back.
> Each kid here can do some special things. I am the best artist. My best
> friend here is Jarod who is 2 months older than me and he is the best
> rememberer and math expert. He can solve complicated equations in a
> second in his head. I'm slower than him. I can do it in my head in a
> few more seconds than him but I can sometimes show how I do it and he
> can't. He reads much faster than me. He never forgets ANYTHING. If you
> remember something wrong he will tell you right away and that is
> sometimes not much fun. He has cerebral palsy which is sometimes called
> CP. He shakes and jerks all over all the time and is very
> uncoordinated. I can't read his writing. He says he can't either. He
> tries to do things in dance class but spends most of the time trying to
> get off the floor. I don't know why they let him try to play football
> but they won't let him learn karate or judo. You don't want to eat near
> him at lunch if you don't want to get covered with food and milk. It
> was funny the first time. Not so much the second time. Now I try to eat
> somewhere else after he tried to drink milk through his nose. Maybe he
> was trying to show Linda a better way to drink when her big nose gets
> in the way.
>
> The bathrooms are very big here but I don't know why they call them
> that when there are no bathtubs in them. Like I said language is funny.
> Ha ha. One time when I went in I heard a noise way in the back and went
> to see what it was. Jarod didn't close the door to the toilet he was
> sitting on so his feet could stick out so I saw what he was doing. He
> was jerking his hard little monster up and down very fast. I asked him
> what he was doing and he was so surprised he fell off the toilet. I
> think it wouldn't take much surprise for that to happen so I wasn't
> sorry about it but I said sorry anyway. He said it felt real good to do
> it and wanted to try it after he saw his older brother do it at home.
> He made me promise not to tell anybody but you are Carlos so I am
> telling you. Ha ha. I helped him back on the toilet. He asked me if I
> ever did it and I said I never thought about it so I didn't. He asked
> me to try it and tell him how it feels. I said maybe but not right now.
> I went to a wall toilet to pee and he followed me and said Wow! I know
> why. I said before he could yes it's big but don't tell anybody and I
> won't tell about what you did is it a deal. He said yes but he reached
> over and tried to touch it. I backed away and turned to him and said
> please don't right now and peed on him accidentally. I thought he would
> be mad but he said don't worry because he aims wrong all the time
> because of CP. He said his mother is not happy cleaning up after him.
> We laughed. Then we both noticed my monster got too big and hard to put
> back in my pants. We talked about math until it got small enough to
> stuff it back in and we went back to class. I wonder if math can make
> fat people thin? Ha ha.
>
> I think my monster is a problem for me. No matter what I do it
> sometimes shows in my pants and I see people staring at it and I could
> get hurt when people grab it and I go flying without a pilots license.
> Ha ha. I think I have to try not to let people see it just so I can
> keep my back from getting black and blue.
>
>
> Your friend,
>
> Stephen
It's good, but this one isn't your best. They can't all be best, and
couldn't be, as chapters in a continuing story. You sometimes have to
make sacrifices in order to build the characters and advance the theme.
Your technique of setting the stage, and describing the new characters
involved first, and then telling the story, works well in this short
episodic form. It makes the story less choppy than it would otherwise
have been. Good idea.
I'm intrigued by your comments about the next story. As you intended,
I'm sure. LOL
Mover, who can't wait for the next one
|
|