"Enig" <enig@the.pub> wrote in message
news:45adb57c$0$234$bb4e3ad8@newscene.com...
> "nemo" <nemo@naughtylass.wet> wrote in
> news:Hhfqh.30607$k74.6036@text.news.blueyonder.co.uk:
>
> >
> > "I got gas" <help@me.please> wrote in message
> > news:431f7977$0$6805$bb4e3ad8@newscene.com...
> >> Gas on the lower colon.
> >>
> >> I silently released it in the produce section of a grocery store near
> >> an old married couple inspecting the green peppers on sale. Then I
> >> moved on.
> >>
> >> You should have seen the dirty look she gave her husband.
> >>
> >> It must've been a bad one, because five minutes later people were
> >> still rushing through the area. Grab a green pepper & run, So they
> >> wouldn't be blamed for it should someone else enter the invisible
> >> cloud a moment later.
> >>
> >> I released another one in the pop & chip Department near a woman in a
> >> wheel chair and her helper as cheese puffs were on sale too. I then
> >> left the store with my beer.
> >>
> >
> > It's when flatulance becomes lumpydulance without you noticing that
> > you're in trouble.
>
>
> That's why you should always hope there are a lot of people around so you
> can borrow a tissue.
>
Butt you can't very well drop your trousers or knickers with a lot of people
around you so you're still stuck! YUK!
Ever had Gastric Flu? I have. (>!<) I wore a trench from my bench to the
toilet! My boss accused me of malingering when I came back to work after
only three days off - then about half the factory was off work for one to
two *weeks* with it! Poor sods.
I had a cast-iron immune system in those days - until I slipped in the bath
and landed on my spleen. Now my immune system comes in a box marked
"Penicillin VK" - and they taste damned foul as well! :o)
You gotta laugh or you'll cry!
Still - a couple of bits of good news. January 2nd. Results of a Nuclear
Perfusion Scan showed my coronary arteries are A-OK so the chest pain must
be something else - Oesophageal Spasm perhaps, and yesterday a Bubble
Echocardiogram showed the puncture they had to make between my atria when I
had Catheter Ablation Therapy a few months ago had completely healed, so the
ocular migraines and tiredness must, again, be caused by something else.
Hoooooooorayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
|
|