Gloomsbury.txt
Gloomsbury
a 12-part comedy by Sue Limb
Series 1
First broadcast 28 September 2012
A stellar cast breathes life into the colourfully chaotic characters of Gloomsbury, a riotous new comedy about the Bloomsbury Group. The six-part series is an affectionate send-up of the infamous literary group whose arty and adulterous adventures dominated the cultural scene in the early 20th century.
The series follows the fortunes of Vera Sackcloth-Vest (Margolyes) - writer, gardener and transvestite - and her urge to escape from the tranquillity of her rather cramped little castle in Kent which she shares with her doting but ambiguous husband Henry (Coy), who is 'something in the Foreign Office'. Vera's heart is forever surging with exotic passion for Ginny Fox (Steadman), a highly-strung novelist who adores her, or the beautiful but shallow Venus Traduces (Banks).
As the scene shifts from Kent to London, and Cornwall to Monaco, this close-knit coterie is divided by misunderstandings, jealousies and rows.
Vera Sackcloth-Vest ..... Miriam Margolyes
Henry Mickleton ..... Jonathan Coy
Mr Gosling ..... Nigel Planer
Mrs Gosling ..... Alison Steadman
Venus Traduces ..... Morwenna Banks
Mrs Ginny Fox ..... Alison Steadman
Lionel Fox ..... Nigel Planer
D H Lollipop ..... John Sessions
Produced by Jamie Rix
A Little Brother production for BBC Radio 4.
101
The Trials Of Attempting An Elopement
28 September 2012
Vera longs to elope to Mediterranean sunshine with one of her bosom chums. But her first choice, Ginny, is stubbornly impervious to adventure and Venus Traduces is fully booked for elopements until next April. Will Vera run off instead with the perky waitress at Lyons' Corner house? Meanwhile, what is Vera's husband Henry up to as telegrams fly between him and Archie Pinkerton-Poker at the Foreign Office?
102
Desperately Seeking Peace And Quiet
5 October 2012
The novelist Ginny Fox is visiting her friends Vera Sackcloth-Vest and Henry Mickleton, who live in a modest unassuming little castle in Kent.
Ginny has writer's block, so Vera tries desperately to provide peace and quiet, gagging the blackbirds and cloaking the gravel paths in velvet. But their tranquil idyll is shattered by the explosive arrival of Venus Traduces, hell-bent on recapturing Vera's heart with a series of appalling musical serenades.
Ginny's tiresome husband Lionel has followed her incognito with a portfolio of herbal remedies, but Henry manages to detain him in the pantry whilst Ginny and Vera dive under the covers to devour a steamy new book, Lady Hattersley's Plover by the intriguing proletarian writer D.H. Lollipop. The chums emerge flushed and enthralled, convinced that they must meet D.H. Lollipop and experience his dangerous animal magnetism at first hand.
103
The St Ives School pf Painting
12 October 2012
The writer and transvestite Vera Sackcloth-Vest and her bosom chum, the novelist Ginny Fox, go down to St Ives in search of the writer of very naughty books Mr D.H. Lollipop. Their husbands, Henry and Lionel, accompany them, hoping to prevent their wives from succumbing to the dangerous animal magnetism of Lollipop, whose book Lady Hattersley's Plover has scandalized and unsettled them all.
Vera's persistent and flamboyant admirer Venus Traduces arrives, desperate to re-kindle their Sapphic passion. However she is distracted when, on the cliff path, she meets a thin man with a red beard who exudes animal magnetism. He informs her that his wife is away in London being painted by Augustus John, invites Venus to call him Dave, and ravishes her in the brambles.
Meanwhile, though Vera and Ginny seem to search in vain for Lollipop, he is always much closer than they think.
104
Trying To Avoid Unpleasantness
19 October 2012
The gardener Vera Sackcloth Vest and her husband Henry are obliged to offer hospitality to the writer of very naughty books Mr D H Lollipop and his new flame, Venus Traduces - who formerly harboured a Sapphic passion for Vera.
The guests are accommodated in the dovecote as Henry will not have Lollipop in the house, in case the cook Mrs Gosling is exposed to impertinences. Vera is hoping that Lollipop will be able to improve her prose style, but instead he seems to take pleasure in trashing her garden and redesigning her study. Lollipop is intent on awakening Venus's blood consciousness but, alas, any educational impulse involving Venus is doomed to failure.
As Venus's passion for Lollipop begins to flag, she finds consolation with the gardener Gosling on the potting bench. Despite Henry's precautions, Mrs Gosling is exposed to Lollipop's impertinences, and the outcome is unexpected and inconvenient.
105
A Desperate Attempt To Have Fun
26 October 2012
The writer Vera Sackcloth-Vest has to tear herself away from her beloved garden just at the moment when her mammillarias are about to open.
She and her husband Henry have been summoned to London by her bosom chum, the novelist Ginny Fox. Ginny and her husband Lionel have realized that they have never had what is known as "fun" and they beg Vera and Henry to provide it.
Simultaneously, Vera's ardent acolyte Venus Traduces asks Vera to educate her, so she can be taken seriously by the Gloomsbury set. Exhausted by her efforts to educate and entertain, and haunted by the fear that her beloved Henry will soon be posted to the Balkans, Vera endures an emotional crisis at a picnic in Kensington Gardens.
Rescue arrives unexpectedly, and she escapes back to her beloved Sizzlinghurst, just as her mammillarias lift their saucy little faces to the sun.
106
He's Got to Be Stopped
02 November 2012
Vera Sackcloth-Vest is bracing herself for the departure of her adored husband Henry on a Foreign Office posting to Romania.
Her friends Ginny and Lionel Fox have come down to Sizzlinghurst to support her, along with her slightly demented devotee Venus Traduces. Whilst maintaining a veneer of cheerful serenity, Vera is inwardly desperate and hatches several intricate plots to detain him: an ominous dream, a succession of spurious telegrams, an extensive repertoire of ailments. She even attempts, disastrously, to persuade the cook to stage a staff crisis.
Meanwhile, down in the gazebo at midnight, Venus encourages Henry to resist all Vera's attempts to detain him as she will surely give in at the last moment and go with him to Romania.
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Series 2
First Broadcast 2nd April 2014
Miriam Margolyes ... Vera Sackcloth-Vest
Alison Steadman ... Ginny Fox
Morwenna Banks ... Venus Traduces
Jonathan Coy ... Henry Mickleton
John Sessions ... DH Lollipop
Alison Steadman ... Mrs Gosling
Roger Lloyd-Pack ... Lionel Fox / Gosling (Series 2)
Produced by Jamie Rix
A Little Brother Production
201
Anarchy Looms Over Staplehurst
02 April 2014
Talk of a general strike is in the air as Lionel and Ginny Fox pay a visit to Sizzlinghurst Castle to see Vera Sackcloth-Vest and Henry Mickleton.
202
Desperate For A Thumbs-Up
09 April 2014
Ginny Fox and DH Lollipop desperately seek literary acclamation for their latest manuscripts, little realising that their greatest critic is Mrs Gosling and her box of matches.
203
Bonfire Of The Jealousies
16 April 2014
Vera is consumed with jealousy, because her friend Ginny Fox is going to be photographed for the front cover of Vanity Fair by acclaimed society photographer Manta Ray.
Guest Cast
John Sessions ... Manta Ray
Nigel Planer ... Dog Owner
John Sessions ... Sigmund Void
204
Ever Decreasing Literary Circles
23 April 2014
Flushed with success, Ginny holds a literary salon at Vera's castle. Disappointingly the glitterati stay away. Only Venus turns up and she has never read a book in her life.
205
The Theory And Practice Of Hanky Panky
30 April 2014
Unable to tell their sons about the facts of life, Henry and Vera ask their friends. But the Foxes do not like kids, the Goslings do not like each other, and Venus takes things to far.
206
Two Broads Broadcasting
7 May 2014
When Ginny asks Vera to appear on her BBC radio programme about modern poetry, Vera sees an opportunity to read out one of her poems, but she has not bargained for Ginny's jealousy.
Guest Cast
Nigel Planer ... Crispin St John Higginbotham
John Sessions ... TS Jellitot
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Series 3
First Broadcast 29th May 2015
Miriam Margolyes ... Vera Sackcloth-Vest
Alison Steadman ... Ginny Fox
Morwenna Banks ... Venus Traduces
Jonathan Coy ... Henry Mickleton
John Sessions ... DH Lollipop
Alison Steadman ... Mrs Gosling
Nigel Planer ... Lionel Fox / Gosling
Produced by Jamie Rix
A Little Brother Production
301
All Very Hush Hush
29 May 2015
When Henry decides to work from home, his wife - the novelist and gardener Vera Sackcloth-Vest - is forced to rearrange her secret liaison with Venus Traduces lest Henry should discover her betrayal.
But Henry has more pressing matters to attend to. His boss from the foreign office is coming down for a secret meeting to discuss a breach of security at Sizzlinghurst and, as a result, Henry can't stop seeing spies round every corner. His paranoia is fuelled by the arrival of a journalist and a photographer from that hotbed of Bolshevism, the Observer newspaper, who have come to interview Vera, and by the unexpected visit of Ginny Fox and her Socialist husband, Lionel, who have come to do research for Ginny's new novel on the Foreign Office.
Everyone appears to be asking intrusive questions and Henry becomes very, very twitchy - especially when he discovers that the interviewer is the working class genius DH Lollipop and the photographer his occasional squeeze, Venus Traduces.
Now Henry feels properly betrayed and only Vera denouncing Venus in public can assuage his jealous rage.
302
A Slanging Match Made in Heaven
5 June 2015
Vera Sackcloth-Vest has promised her husband Henry, that her affair with Venus Traduces is at an end - but when Venus writes Vera a secret billet-doux, Vera is powerless to resist and makes hurried plans to meet Venus in London.
However, before she can leave Sizzlinghurst, Lady Utterline Amoral and Lytton Scratchy arrive unexpectedly to take a tour of the garden. Keen to see them leave, Vera's patience is put to the test in the face of Lady Utterline's snobbishness, insisting that Vera should follow her example and hold an annual garden party to raise money for the Red Cross.
Meanwhile, Henry is chased round the sofa by Lytton who, as an irrepressible gossip, lets slip that Vera and Venus are back together. His suspicions now confirmed, Henry insists on accompanying Vera down to London.
303
Relishing the Gentleman
12 June 2015
Having declared that she would rather die than take any of Lady Utterline's advice, Vera has decided to open her garden to the public.
Ginny and Lionel have come down to help without realising that Vera is planning to dress up as a man (to avoid being recognised), so that she can indulge in a secret liaison with Venus, who is planning to dress up as a Russian Fortune Teller - Mrs Pullova.
And all of this charade just to deceive Henry.
But from the moment Vera asks Ginny and Lionel to be co-conspirators in her plot by luring Henry away from the garden party, things start to go wrong.
Eventually, Henry finds out about the clandestine meeting in the fortune teller's tent and - despite an unwanted furore when the police arrive to arrest DH Lollipop for selling the vicar his pornographic novel (Lady Hattersley's Plover) - Henry manages to put a stop to Vera and Venus's elopement.
304
Women in Love and Men in Disgrace
19 June 2015
Ginny Fox has planned a trip with Vera Sackcloth-Vest to see her sister, Nesta Bell, at Charlatan House in Sussex, so that Nesta can paint Vera's portrait.
Lionel disapproves of the Bohemian lifestyle of Nesta and her husband Cliff and goes off to spend the weekend with Henry at Sizzlinghurst. Cliff is a rogue who spends half of his time away from the house living with his lover, Mrs Hutchinson. Nesta only tolerates Cliff's dalliance because there's another man living at Charlatan with whom she's really in love - Duncan Grunt. Unfortunately for Nesta, Duncan only has eyes for his homosexual lover, who also lives in the house, and whose name is Flopsy. And to top it all, Nesta's two children run up and down the garden without any clothes on.
When Ginny and Vera turn up at Charlatan House, Nesta makes an improper suggestion when she asks if she can paint Vera in the nude. Vera is shocked and wants to leave. Unable to share Vera with her sister, Ginny storms out too, and she and Vera return to Sizzlinghurst, where their mood is not lightened by the discovery of Henry and Lionel wrestling naked in front of the library fire as research for DH Lollipop's new book.
305
Tired of London
26 June 2015
Henry finally gives up his job at the Foreign Office and embarks on a career as a writer. He lands a job as London Diary writer for the Evening Standard, a publication loathed by Vera because it maligned her when reporting on her elopement with Venus.
But Henry has writer's block and can't think of a single thing to write. He asks Vera to do it for him. She refuses, but does offer to accompany him up to London to see Ginny and Lionel Fox in the hope that something on the trip will inspire him.
Lionel and Ginny are having their own problems - Ginny feels trapped by the city and wants to escape to the country. Lionel suggests to Henry that they go to London Zoo as this has always been a source of inspiration to him. There, Ginny reflects on how the animals in their cages resemble the way she feels about her current situation and, when Henry pounces on the idea as a splendid subject for his article in the Evening Standard, Ginny throws a fit. She accuses him of plagiarism and storms out.
Vera and Henry are sitting in the cafe alone when the Prince of Wales happens to turn up with one of his mistresses and starts to flirt with Vera. Jealousy inspires Henry, but it takes Vera to save his reputation as a fledgling writer.
306
One Day My Prince Will Come
3 July 2015
The visit of the Prince of Wales to Sizzlinghurst to admire Vera's garden has ardent Monarchist, Mrs Gosling, in a tizzy. It also leaves Henry on edge. and suspecting everyone of trying to assassinate the Prince.
With good cause it would seem.
Gosling's rampant Republicanism and grandmother's shot gun means that Henry has no choice but to lock the gardener up in the potting shed. Then two gun-toting Americans pop in unannounced and brandish their weapons on the front lawn - the poet Gertrude Klein and the socialite Mrs Wallis Simpleton.
Henry manages to disarm them just as the Prince makes his entrance. But when the Prince of Wales makes a play for Vera, asking her out on a clandestine date to to the theatre, Henry regrets getting rid of the guns.
If the Prince continues to threaten his marriage, Henry might have to assassinate the Prince of Wales himself.
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