Small Collection of JPGs to insure NFO retention.nfo
Small Collection of JPGs to insure NFO retention
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To my darling daughter Melinda Jo'Leigh (Goudy) Garcia (see NFO)
I loved your mother very much, she worked at the Donut shop a couple of blocks away from the Cove Twin Cinemas where I was a young projectionist.
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She would have these siezures and someone would come running and tell me "Terri's having a siezure!" and I'd run to her and sit on the floor and cradle her in my lap in my arms. I knew the world was looking at us, but I only had eyes for her. Eventually she would wake and ask for something sweet as a post-seizure medication.
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One time I'm cradling her in my arms, caressing her, petting her and I leaned forward and began whispering in her ear "it's okay to come back now it's safe to come back" and to my surprise she jerked awake almost immediately. This worked every time thereafter, but she always came awake with a snap and would have this horrible headache.
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So, I said "it's okay to come back, it's safe to come back, but come back slowly ... slowly ... slowly" and she quietly fluttered her eyelids and smiled up at me.
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To the best of my knowledge, she never had another siezure.
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I am a good person, I am a lost person and now I am gone.
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You are here because of your mother. She tricked me into getting her pregnant. I said that was not fair. She said whatever created you was by definition fair. Now that you exist, I find I cannot argue the logic that would have you undone.
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She took you from me for the first time saying it was her responsibility. She went to work for the 1980 census. We almost lost touch. Turns out this was a test and I failed. Seems I was to override her stated wishes and ask for her back.
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Then I did the one thing that made me useless to your mother ... I got a vasectomy. She never once considered that for the right reason, I could at least try to have it reversed. I guess if she could never trick me again, she was out of ammunition.
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Then the afternoon of the nineteenth of June 1980 I got a call from her mother, your grandmother who screamed at me to get to the hospital because she could not take it. I rushed there and after many hours I got to see my little girl get born ... ploop ... a purple wrinkled thing so tiny it was unbelieveable.
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The next day, you less than a full day old and there you were, grabbing my index fingers with your tiny hands and legs strong enough to stand while holding on.
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Your mother informed me that she was taking you to live with her parents and you were all moving to Texas. Your poor deranged mother ... she thouht she was enticing me with you when it was her I always wanted. Three times I asked her back and three times she later changed her mind and took you from me. I never abandoned you, I just failed to ask your mom back for a fourth time.
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You see, the third time, I posed that we start anew in San Diego and I made one single condition of your mother ... she stop bad mouthing me, else I promised to turn her across my knee.
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Things were going apace and we were having Thursday dates and she was beginning to dress like she cared about herself again.
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I remember hearing on the radio about that time that it was not legally possible for a husband to rape his wife.
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I don't know about that ... I think I stepped over a line I had no idea of.
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And then it happened. I found a letter unmailed to her best girlfriend in which she tore me down and our agreement went to shit in an instant. I took a belt to her naked ass and demanded conjugal rights which she acceeded to. It was Thursday, March 7, 1985. For four nights running, I was a happy man. She was sleeping with you and after servicing said I couldn't make her sleep with me. Wasn't interested, didn't try. Sunday was my birthday. Monday I went to work and came home with a big armful of flowers, first time in my life. I walked in the front door and laid the flowers on the dining room table where they lay for months untouched. I walked from room to room and it was when I looked at my bed and saw, not her high quality quilt on my bed, but my own cheap one that I realized what had happened.
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I drove frantically back to L.A. and contacted a good friend who I later learned wanted to be an even better friend to my wife. He never got what he wanted and eventually married someone else, but that night he lied to me and said he didn't know where my wife was. As the sun came up I drove back home.
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Your mother tried one more quick score, but too late. I was already preparing to move and had put all of her stuff in storage, so when she came and busted the lock off the adjoining garage, there was nothing of hers in the apartment and so she took the remainder of my stuff 'hostage'. We traded our stuff in a standoff you say you remember.
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Your mother wanted to go back to her maiden name, but since it was after 9/11, she needed to be divorced to reclaim her maiden name. I attempted to give her this, but I screwed up and missed some final bit and so we are still technically married and she still bears my last name. At the time, I was worried about her changing you last name, but once you got married, that was moot.
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My biggest mistake was NOT deserting you, for I NEVER DID. My worst mistake was believing that your mother would be a good mother. It's not that I would have been a bad father, but I would always have been a lazy one.
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I can only apologize for leaving you at the tender mercies of the world's most selfish bitch.
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All she had to do was be the wife she promised me she would be and I would have been the husband and father you both deserved. but call me shallow, but being disrespected and lied to left too bitter a taste for me to do what I should have done and for that I am truly sorry.
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One last note: you think you are ugly, but I know why you look like you do. If you looked hot enough for everyone to want to fuck, then you wouldn't be what YOU are:
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A GOOD MOTHER
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And that's why you look like a dumpy mom type ... it's what you were born to be and I am completely proud of who you are, recognizing that your mom and I are both abject failures at what we should have been.
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I love you with all my heart.
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Dad,
Yugiva
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p.s. I've written a lot on usenet if you want to know my mind, a lot of it is here for you as my lone legacy.
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p.p.s. My mother is evil, but she had something special. I have that special too. As do you and your children. Know that you are incubating something the human race needs. I know not how (or even if) it will manifest, but you and your bloodline is ancient from Polish roots that cannot be denied.
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My goal is to see that EVERYONE understands the unviolable right we all have to LEAVE. Deny NO ONE that right and be a good mother and the angels in heaven shall sing your praise.
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God screwed up and put the beauty of his love in every woman's smile, which makes every man weak in the knees for this glimpse of God's beatific love. God created Eve to be Adam's companion, which put woman beyond God's reach by his own choice. God is not just honor, but the Source Of All HONOR and as such cannot inrtervene with women because God is NOT and 'Indian Giver' if you'll pardon the non sequitur. So, women accidentally have final sway over God's greatest creation because of God's love for the true sons of Adam and is honor bound to not touch God's greatest gift to man, for it is not his to take BY HIS OWN RULE.
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Man is helpless against woman.
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Woman is protected against God's wrath by God's own honor.
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Therefore, man is fucked by being unfucked by his greatest love.
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As long as a woman remains unfucked, mankind is doomed.
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God, please take your gift back and rework the entire package such that we can own your beauty without being humbled by the mere sight of it.
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Pretty please?
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