In article <4b84a477$0$26245$bb4e3ad8@newscene.com>, Group_Troll
<GroupTroll@Pissed.Off.nl> wrote:
> FROM: Mover <Mover@Watch-Me.com>
>
> > In article <p6k4o5pscil4le3he0vaj9s60v35scqjd0@4ax.com>, Rebulon Ruster
> > <reb.ruster@gmail.com> wrote:
> >
> >> On Sun, 21 Feb 2010 20:31:22 -0500, Mover <Mover@Watch-Me.com> wrote:
> >>
> >> The Care and Feeding of Your Troll: A Primer
> >> ===========================
> >>
> >> So, you've brought home a new Internet Troll. Congratulations! If you
> >> are a first timer having a troll, you may have questions. Here are a
> >> few suggestions so that you and your troll can live in karmic balance.
> >> Now remember, each troll is different and your results may vary.
> >> However, this primer should help you get on your way. Welcome to the
> >> world of having a troll!
> >>
> >> How do I refer to my troll now that I have him/her?
> >>
> >> First, your troll may show up already named. Yet, you will find the
> >> ihateyou or yousuck. Never fear, you can always change their name. If
> >> this is your first troll, I find that it is best to give him/her a
> >> soothing, happy name to remind you that they are really just helpless,
> >> sad creatures. A good name can make all the difference! I recommend
> >> something like FluffyLoveBunny or Silly Billy Chickie Boo. How scary
> >> is that? Not so much.
> >>
> >> So your troll has a name! Congratulations! You are on your way!
> >>
> >> How do I discipline my new troll?
> >>
> >> Now as trolls are known to do, yours may act up from time to time. He
> >> or she may get down right nasty and vicious towards you. Remember:
> >> That is in their nature. They are inbred to act that way. It is just
> >> NOT their fault. (And rumor has it most of them were dropped on their
> >> head often as tiny, baby trolls.) Of course, your first instinct as
> >> you get used to your new troll is to lash out and want to punish them
> >> for being so incorrigible. That would be your first mistake! It only
> >> encourages their behavior. The best way to keep your little
> >> FluffyBunnyLove in harmony with you and your home is to ignore him or
> >> her. Unlike their human counterparts, neglect keeps trolls
> >> temperamentally neutral. Allowing them to see your anger or pain at
> >> their behavior merely encourages them to keep it up and makes them
> >> raging mean. Neglect. Ignore. Restore (the balance). Those are the
> >> keys to disciplining your new troll.
> >>
> >> Now that I have a new troll, what do I feed him?
> >>
> >> Like any wild animal, it is important to understand the indigenous
> >> nature of their diet. Your new troll may try to convince you that the
> >> best thing you can feed him is a diet of your anger, frustration and
> >> away with anything they possibly can. It would be a mistake to listen
> >> to them. Your anger, frustration and pain is their main source of
> >> of ambivalence and ignorant bliss to maintain their puny stature. As
> >> much as you want to punish him or her, remember that little
> >> FluffyLoveBunny needs to be ignored after he or she comes home with
> >> you. A steady diet of neglect will keep you living in harmony with
> >> your new troll!
> >>
> >> Where do I keep my new troll?
> >>
> >> That is a great (and normal) question! As with any troll, he or she
> >> will want to be front and center in your life. He or she will want
> >> your never-ending attention at all times. It is their nature.
> >> However, to live successfully with your new troll, you must remember
> >> to keep him or her locked in a corner or sitting so far in the back of
> >> the room that you forget her or she is there. Remember: Neglect
> >> meant to be.
> >>
> >> What if my troll runs away from me and never returns? Does this mean
> >> I failed as a troll owner?
> >>
> >> Absolutely not! In fact, just the opposite. If your troll gives up
> >> in frustration and leaves you for another, that simply means you have
> >> done a good job in the care and feeding of your troll. Pat yourself
> >> on the back. You deserve it!
> >>
> >> However, remember this: The troll population is diverse and re-spawns
> >> troll may follow you home. But, with this handy primer, you will be
> >> ready for the care and feeding of your troll!
> >>
> >> Good luck with your new troll! May your journey be swift and
> >> painless!
> >>
> >> ==You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after
> >> they've tried everything else.
> >> Winston Churchill==
> >
> >
> > Great post! You took my short exposition and ran a creative Marathon
> > from it. Well done! Should it be included in the FAQ?
> >
> > But, what is a troll?
> > I've seen some "on-topic" posters be more harassing and vicious to
> > their own kind than any real troll ever was, and saw some real trolls
> > actually be reasonable sometimes. There have been posters who said they
> > were who they were not, and posters who didn't have a clue who they
> > wanted to be. There were posters who denied doing the things they were
> > doing in the posts that contained the denial, and many native English
> > speaking posters who showed they couldn't read or write worth a
> > ha'penny, and went off half cuckooed in all misdirections every chance
> > they could. With all of that going on at the same time, how can we be
> > sure of anyone being who we think they are? Or even sane, ourselves
> > included?
> >
> > in this case there is one little thing you might want to consider on a
> > day so dreary, while you're weak and weary, pondering on the nature of
> > the troll knocking on our chamber door; do real trolls ever post
> > through Newscene? Quoth this Usenet Maven, "Nevermore".
> >
> > Mover, the Troll Maven LOL
> >
> > ps
> > To Poe or not to Poe, that was the question. I think it was nobler I
> > did it. LOL
>
> Yes sweetheart, when I post pictures I use a different service. And we
> have had those times of bad inglesh and other good fighs/arguuments about
> the pics being off topic.
Too quiet now. Boring.
> While I sometimes troll you from outside, the fun way is to troll you
> from within. I am one of the group in another group. But the twain shall
> not meat.
Vegetating?
> May The Fort Stand Strong! But I - Group Troll - have the power to bring
> it down. I know where the secret side door is.
>
So, you can make The Fort go down on you? Oh, that sucks! LOL
Now, about that limerick...
Mover LOL
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