Everybody (At Microsoft) Hates Chris.
Microsoft Academic Alliance is unfair to LInux
and students.
Episode of Everybody Hates Chris 02/18/2011
Copyright C 2011 by Eric Matteson. Permission
is granted to copy the plain text version of this script
and to publish it on the Internet.
non-profit uses including student films
and speech classes are also allowed.
{Scene 1 GlenOak Community college sidewalk: Chris and Greg and Joey}
CAROUSO
How come there are only FOUR NORMAL High speed computers in CE 101
Computer science lab ??
GREG
Last semester there were NINE COMPUTERS In CE 101. And one year ago
there were 18 computers in CE 101 on the outer two rows of tables.
CHRIS
On Monday September 10th,2001 there were 36 computers
in CE 101. Are you sure that there are only four now????
CAROUSO
Absolutley. There is a broken computer that never worked
and a slow computer and some non-standard computers but there
are only four remaining normal high speed computers in CE 101
on Thursday, February 17, 2011
GREG
This is extremely unfair!!
All those students who do not have their own computer
or who have a non-normal MAC or who use a 80486 to
connect to dialup Internet are going to be waiting in
long lines at the end of the semester for those four remaining
computers in CE 101.
CHRIS
CE 101 computer science lab is one of the most important
reasons that the State of California funds Glenoak
Community College.
GREG
I Imagine that our scriptwriter was dissapointed last semester
when the number of normal computers was only nine instead
of the 18 that had been there in CE 101 the previous semester.
But our scriptwriter was completely helpless last semester
because he was very busy doing math review homework for
extremeley difficult Physics 038 and he had a new group
of HARD problems to do every week so he failed to deal with
the situation in CE 101 last semester. Even the broken
Al Borland C++ compilers for Windows were not reported
until the end of Winter vacation when the casm3.c assembler
was replaced by the new casm4.cs assembler.
CAROUSO
Try to imagine Tim Taylor on Tool Time saying
I DON'T THINK SO AL
to criticize Al Borland for making a non-working C++
compiler.
CHRIS
I do not think that our scriptwriter would have written
the casm4.cs assembler if he would have known that there
would only be four computers in CE 101 at the beginning
of Spring 2011 semester instead of at least nine expected
computers from the end of last semester.
The main reason that the assembler was translated
from c to c# is so it could run on Windows Dot.NET
Csharp on the nine computers that CE 101 had last semester
plus additional proposed new computers. It was very
hard translating that assembler from C to Csharp
and it WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN DONE for only four computers!!!!
GREG
Computers are not very expensive so the community
college is not saving much money by getting rid
of 5 computers during Winter vacation 2010-2011.
CHRIS
Try to imagine that Microsoft is being DOWNSIZED
to the FULL EXTENT of the downsizing of CE 101
computer science computer lab
at GlenOak Community College.
On September 10th of 2001 there were 36 computers
in CE 101 with Windows 98 and Microsoft had 100
per cent of its normal income.
At the end of 2008 there were 18 computers left in CE 101
because half the space was reserved for a hardware
class that does not posses a real classroom and only meets
one day a week.
( Hint. Making Math 118 OR High School algebra or higher
math class a pre-requisite for Hardware course CS992
will reduce excessive enrollment . It is fair because
everyone is supposed to take algebra before graduating
from High School.)
When 18 computers were in CE 101 Microsoft was also automatically
downsized to about half its normal income BY THE RECESSION.
In Fall of 2010 there were only nine computers in CE 101
Microsoft should have had its 50 per cent of normal income reduced to
only 25 per cent but our scriptwriter was trapped by physics homework
and did not do anything else during Fall 2010 semester.
GREG
And the FIRST WEEK of Spring 2011 semester our scriptwriter was busy
trying to get Visual Basic CS938 to be able to use the
command line compiler vbc.exe instead of the non-working
art studio VB compiler in the textbook.
MIcrosofts current recession income on Feb 18,2011 is
about 50 to 55 per cent normal but with only
four out of 36 computers left in CE 101 CE 101
only has 1/9 of its normal number of computers
so WE NEED to DOWNSIZE MICROSOFT to only 11 per cent of
its normal income which is only 20 per cent of
its income on Friday Feb 28th 2011.
CHRIS
After Microsoft announced a new ACADEMIC ALLIANCE in which
low income students get temporary time limited versions of
microsoft software for free the number of computers
in CE 101 started to decline.
CAROUSO
Could School employees have assumed that the free
software from the Microsoft academic alliance
enabled students to do homework at home so the school
could save money with a 89 per cent downsizing
of CE 101 computer science lab ??
GREG
This is EXTREMELY UNFAIR TO STUDENTS because poor students
still have to buy expensive computers to run the academic
alliance software because CE 101 no longer has enough
computers to MEET DEMAND.
CHRIS
Microsoft Academic Alliance must be COMPLETELY ABOLISHED
to punish it for whatever percentage of blame it should get
for downsizing CE 101 computer science lab to an intolerable
extent. Pretty please find a way to completely ABOLISH
the Microsoft Academic Alliance.
GREG
Microsoft has always hated competition. Microsoft might have had
a potential motive to severely dowsize CE 101 computer science lab
so there will not be enough computers left in there for some
low income student to learn how to potentially compete with
Microsoft!!
Microsoft might even have offered a deal to someone who works
for the school to get rid of most of the school computers
for the specific purpose of opposing students who might otherwise
learn how to compete with Microsoft.
CAROUSO
Im Mrs Morellos history class She said that the
Sherman Williams Anti-trust Act was passed by congress
to prevent a big company from selling stuff below cost to
intentionally put competitors out of business and then
raise prices later after aquiring a monopoly.
GREG
The Microsoft Academic Alliance is unfair to Linux and Wine
because it discourages students from using free Linux and
also discouraging teachers from teaching about how to
write programs to run on Linux by promising free Microsoft
software.
It is my opinion that the Microsoft Academic Alliance
TOTALLY VIOLATES the Sherwin-Williams Anti-Trust Act by
unfairly harming Linux.
CAROUSO
Suing Microsoft in court is expensive. They have the worlds best
defense
lawyers.
CHRIS
Another option is the proposed BEXLEY Linux expansion bill in the
California legislature. Schools in Bexley City Ohio sucessfully
switched to Linux. They bought new computers with Linux instead
of Microsoft Windows and they saved a lot of money. Even Though
Linux is different from Microsoft Windows Teachers and students
had far fewer problems than expected so the transition to Linux
in Bexley City Ohio Schools was Successful.
I DEMAND THAT THE CALIFORNIA LEGISLATURE BEGIN DEBATING THe
PROPOSED BEXLEY LINUX EXPANSION BILL to Replace Microsoft Windows
with Free Linux on all school computers including community
college computers everywhere in California.
GREG
Even if Microsoft is innocent and did not intend to downsize
the CE 101 computer science lab California is still unable
to afford to continue TO PAY for Membership in the Microsoft
Academic Alliance. Spend money on new physical hardware
computers instead of wasting money on Microsoft software.
RED HAT LINUX has helped create Fedora Linux and CentOS Linux
and CERN LINUX.
Ubuntu Ultimate edition also has a DVD ISO Image that is good for
schools to use.
Pretty please PASS the Bexley Linux expansion act in the California
legislature so every computer owned by the State of California will be
switched over to Linux NOW!!
Linux supports C and C++ and Linux is the best operating system for
software developers and computer programming students.
There is a Mono Dot.NET add on and a Windows Imitation Natural
Environment ( WINE ) that runs windows applications on Linux so
Linux is a good operating system to learn about Windows
programming on!!
CHRIS
I beleive it is unfair for teachers to assume that free
Microsoft software from the MicroSoft Academic Alliance
makes it unnecessarry to learn Linux.
Students who use Linux do not need
to use the Microsoft Academic Alliance because Linux is free
and free add-ons including mono and wine are available as
additional downloads.
Even if the federal judge does not confirm that the
Microsoft Academic Alliance violates the Sherman Williams
Anti Trust Act it still is unfair to students and taxpayers
for schools to pay fees for Microsoft Academic Alliance when
the state budget has failed to maintain computers in computer
science labs.
-------------------
Scene 2. Tables and paperwork.
Greg shows up with a school class schedule.
CHRIS
Back in Spring 2005 Math 263 Calculus 3 was in the class
schedule as T TH 7:15 - 10:00 P.M.
Our scriptwriter enrolled in that course.
Then just ONE International student wanted Math 263
switched from T TH to M W so that he could take another course on
Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Then the professor changed the nights of Math 263
to Monday and Wednesday.
GREG
How come our scriptwriter remembers six years later
that the nights of the week of Calculus 3 were changed
SIX YEARS AGO??
CHRIS
Because he had to miss Monday nights 7th Heaven TV SHOW
all that semester because JUST ONE other student had asked
the teacher to change Math 263s nights of the week.
7th Heaven TV show has filmed several scenes at GlenOak
Community College before it was eventually canceled
to prepare for early deadlines of Digital Television.
7th Heaven including reruns is ENTIRELY an analog
TV Show.
GREG
WE have a bankruptcy emergency here at Glenoak
community college. Glenoak community college
needs to purchase at least 14 new ordinary PC Computers
for CE 101 computer science lab and install them
BEFORE Friday March 4,2011 Deadline.
CHRIS
Where is the money going to come from??
GREG
First we will immediately reduce the number of sections
of CS901.
One of the three online sections 8021 8184 8300
was already CANCELED to pay a golf cart fuel bill
from last semester.
WE begin by combining the two remaining sections into
just ONE Online section of CS901
Instead of paying 3 teachers or even 2 teachers overtime
only one teacher will now be paid for that online CS901.
CHRIS
Try to imagine the announcement on the Online
website
----------------
Attention, CS 901 students of sections xxxx yyyy
Your two sectyions have been combined into
Just one section zzzz
To save money. The number of teachers and office hours for
CS 901 have been reduced to help raise money for
buying replacement computers for CE 101
computer science lab.
--------------------------------------------------------------
GREG
There are EIGHT In Class sections of CS 901
out of only three that would have been needed.
Scince we only have a limited amount of room in CE 101
for 18 computers as is and up to 27 computers if hardware
class is cut in half by a ALGEBRA PRE-REQUSITE REQUIREMENT
we only need to eliminate one or two of those sections
to pay for CE 101.
I will now propose THREE Sections that will be eliminated.
3690 is canceled because CE 101 has beem closed on Monday for
many years.
3694 is canceled because that teacher might want Wendesday night off.
He teaches other classes that are more important on Tuesday
and Thursday nights......
CHRIS
3690 and 3694.
Thats two sections.
Cancel just one more section of CS 901....
GREG
0692
Nobody wants to take a class on Saturday morning!!
CHRIS
This was even EASIER THAN EXPECTED!!! I thought it would be hard to
decide
which sections of CS 901 to cancel !!
ATTENTION CS 901 STUDENTS
If your class has been canceled you may switch sections to a
remaining uncanceled in class section OR the ONE REMAINING online
section OR drop the course.
The last day to drop without a W is Friday, March 4th.
You should DROP CS 901 NOW if you have not already passed
Math 125 (Intermediate Algebra) or higher math class because
Excel Spreadsheet uses hard algebra and is a very important
part of CS 901.
GREG
In conclusion three in class sections of CS 901 will be canceled
NOW leaving only five in class sections and only one remaining
online section instead of two.
CS901 has to be downsized now to raise money to replace 14
missing computers for CE 101 computer science lab NOW.
CHRIS
I beleive it is unfair to free Linux for teachers to rely
on the promise of free Microsoft academic alliance software
to pretend that it is unneccessarry to teach how to write
computer programs for Linux. Teachers also need to maintain
a high number of computers in CE 101 to put coursework
software on instead of telling students to use
the Microsoft academic alliance on thier own computers.
------
Written BY Eric Matteson
[ Link to previous episode of Everybody Hates Chris ]
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.tv/msg/c0c03bc3fc6e68a8
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