There is some false information being circulated in Brady Bunch
circles that Robert Reed refused to appear in the final episode of the
BB (the one where Bobby sells hair tonic that turns Greg's hair a
different color). Robert Reed didn't actually refuse to appear in
that episode. He was unable to appear because of a severe anal and
eye problems. The day before they were scheduled to tape the last
episode Robert, whose sphincter was unable to close properly due to
excessive wear and tear, was emitting a large BM (bowel movement) at
the Paramount Lot. Alice happened to come upon Robert as he was
emptying the contents of his bowels into the Paramount sewer system.
She heard the loud sound of the splashing and the spray from Robert's
bunghole. As Robert finished spraying he got up and he forgot to wipe
up (because he was so surprised to see Alice standing there watching
him). He yells at Alice, "Hey bitch WTF are you looking at? Haven't
you ever seen a gay man emit a BM (bowel movement) before?" He then
remembers that he forgot to wipe. Alice sees Robert waddling back to
the toilet with his pants around his ankles and says, "Don't worry
about it, Bob, I'll clean you up." Alice then proceeds to remove her
trousers and uses her brillo-like pubic hair to thoroughly scour
Robert's entire bunghole area. At first Robert is grateful but
Alice's needle-like pubic hairs scrape him up like thorns on a
rosebush. By the time Alice is done, Robert's ass looks like a
pizza. Then, when Alice puts her trousers back on, one of the nipples
on her tube-like breasts accidentally slips out of her low-hanging bra
and the nipple hair (which is as course and prickly as co-axiel
cable), shoots out like a broken spring and sticks into Mike's eye.
The next day Robert's ass was so sore all he could do was sit in a pan
of ice and hold a package of Green Giant frozen pees over his eye
while the last BB episode was taped without him.
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