I was just wondering about something.
Did any of you happen to watch last month's special Valentines day
lost episode of the Brady bunch? It was a hoot. Saggie had labeled
this video tape as such, and I had to watch it. It was so funny.
Mike announced at the start of the week that he would only give his
love to one of the family members on Valentine's day. That family
member would be the one who had the firmest BM (bowel movement). He
would not love any of the others. Only the firm BM (bowel movement)
maker would be his true love. Well, maybe true love in the family
sense, and not in the gay (homosexual) sense.
Jan immediately knew in her heart that it had to be her. She would
make certain of this at any cost. Her plot to start having firmest BM
(bowel movement) started immediately. She had about 5 days to get her
shit together before Valentines day. Jan immediately started on a
strict, strict low carb diet of nothing but cheese, lean meats, and
ate zero vegetables or starches. These thing would plug her up
considerably, and prevent her from having a BM (bowel movement) for
about 5 days, it was perfect.
Now, what about sabotaging the rest of the family? She wasted no
time. Her quandary was how to give the family chronic diarrheas
(loose BM's (bowel movements). What to do? What to do? Jan started
researching what the best methods to produce diarrheas (loose BM's
(bowel movements). He research lead her to hints like giving the
whole family flu, feeding them laxatives, feed spoiled dairy products,
feeding bacteria, etc.
She started her plot. She went to Mr. Haskle's ice cream shop to get
some chocolate chip mint. She knew he sold outdated, rotten ice
creams, letting them get good and ripe past the pull date. Mr. Haskle
frequently could be found at the shop sticking the ice cream scoop up
his rear end, and then putting it into the ice cream. While he felt
this gave his ice cream a unique flavor, it also made them sick.
Well, sure enough, it worked. Everyone ate tons of the ice cream, and
soon all 8 Brady's had knots in their stomachs, and churning bowels.
One by one, each made their way into the bathroom, if they could hold
it that long, and released a huge diarrhea (loose BM (bowel
movement). It was funny! Greg could not wait. He pulled his pants
down while going up the stairs, and sprayed diarrhea (loose BM (bowel
movement) all over Mike, Carol and Alice who were behind him. The
laugh track went crazy!
The sickness went on for days. Finally, it was Valentines day. It
was a statewide holiday in California that year. Mike left at the
crack of dawn to go to the gay (homosexual) bath house. They were
having a special lovers special, and Mike wanted to get in early
before all of the room were taken, and all he could get was a locker.
The rest of the family was still spraying diarrhea (loose BM (bowel
movement) all over each other. Cindy, Peter and Bobby would gang up
on Alice, pull their pants down and spray her with diarrhea (loose BM
(bowel movement))! Funny! Alice's uniforms were all stained in brown
now. Safe laundry soap was not working well to get the stains out,
and she wondered if Best would be better than Safe.
Mike called to find out how things were going, and that he was done
getting his rear end reamed at the gay (homosexual) bath house. He
reported he would soon be home. Jan had answered the phone. She
knew it was her time. Jan went into the dining room, grabbed the
silver platter with all 6 of the children's names and squatted down.
After considerable straining with the constipation caused by eating
zero fiber, her bowels began to move, and she started to extrude her
concrete BM (bowel movement). It was the hardest BM (bowel movement)
made in the entire history of the Brady Bunch. Harder than concrete,
and stiffer than Mike's penis at the sight of a man's rear end.
Jan heard Mike's convertible drive up, and she waited for him to come
in the front door. He opens the door, and she runs to him, holding
her big, firm BM (bowel movement) on the platter. "Here Daddy!" she
cried. "I'm your true love - I made the firmest BM (bowel movement)
just for my Daddy!" Mike took the BM (bowel movement) platter, and
was quite impressed. All of the other children, and Carol and Alice
gathered around. All of the sudden, fucking dumb wad Alice put 2 and
2 together. She said "Wait just a fucking minute!" She said.
"Everyone else has had chronic diarrheas (loose BM's (bowel movements)
all week EXCEPT you, Jan!" All of the children were saying "Yea,
Jan!" As they figured it all out.
Jan finally confessed she had sabotaged the BM (bowel movement)
contest. All of the children were outraged, and started beating up
Jan. Alice kicked her in the head, and Carol kidney punched her. Jan
was on the floor reeling in pain. Now, it was Mike's turn. He picked
up Jan's rock hard BM (bowel movement) off of the platter, and started
beating her with it. The rest of the children were watching. 'I
WOULD NEVER LOVE A BM (BOWEL MOVEMENT) CHEATER!" he yelled.
Jan starts to have convulsions, and the family laughs. Mike says
"let's go finish off that ice cream!" You see a little smirk on Jan's
face as the laugh track starts, and the screen fades to black.
I thought this Valentine's day episode was so funny!
Kings, Derek - did you ever see it?
Love you so much!
The BM (Bowel Movement) Lady
The world's leading authority on BM's (bowel movements).
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