I was just wondering about something.
Kings and Derek - my loves!
Did any of you ever watch this lost episode. I pulled it out at
random of Saggie's large collection of thousands upon thousands of
videos and DVDs of the Brady Bunch. It was so funny, I laughed so
hard that some of my own BM (bowel movement) came out of me, the BM
(Bowel Movement) Lady!
The family had just returned from Hawaii. Mike was over his inflamed
anus that he suffered as a result of tripping on the children's BM's
(bowel movements) they had dropped on Alice at the Sheraton. Within
about an hour of landing in Los Angeles, each one of the Bradys -
including Alice, began having very painful BM's (bowel movements).
Thindy yelled "I'm training when I'm having my Thee-EM (thowel
movement)!" She actually meant to say she was STRAINING to have her
BM (bowel movement). All of the children and adults were having to
strain and push their BM's (bowel movements) out of their rectums.
This went on for two days. Finally, each Brady and Alice developed
about 12 long and large external hemorrhoids as a result of so much
straining.
Turns out the change in humidity between Hawaii and Los Angeles had
caused their BM's (bowel movements) to swell inside their puffed out
rectums and anuses. The body's natural reaction was to produce long
external, permanent hemorrhoids. The hemorrhoids were terrible!
While the swelling of the BM's (bowel movements) because less and
less, the hemorrhoids stayed! They were painful too! By now, the
hemorrhoids had grown to about 12 inches on each kid. The Brady
children were made fun of at school. Jan would not shower with other
girls in the gym because children would make fun of their
hemorrhoids. Marcia had over a dozen external hemorrhoids now, and
would brush them 100 strokes each before bed. Mike knew he had to do
something.
Mike called Hemorrhoids-R-Us in West Covina, just off I-405 for a
quote. It was going to be $5,000 for each person to have their
hemorrhoids removed. Mike's was going to cost $8,000 because there
was a homosexual surcharge. He simply was too cheap to do it.
Mike tried cutting Alice's hemorrhoids off with scissors. It was
funny! She yelped from the cut, as blood gashed into Mike's face.
The surprise startled her so, she lost all control of her bowels, and
spewed a large, rather loose BM (bowel movement) in Mike's face.
"Sorry, Mr. B" Alice said. What was Mike to do?
All of the sudden, Mike got a brilliant idea! He remembered the large
deep fat fryer that he and Carol were given by Mr. Phillips for their
wedding gift. It was outside the service porch. The last time they
used it was good old fashioned deep fried BM's (bowel movements) in a
tangy blue cheese sauce. Mike figured he would stick each children's
bottom into the deep fat fryer. With the oil over 400 degrees, the
hemorrhoids would puff up just like pork rinds, and snap right off
their rectums.
One by one - each Brady stuck their bottom in the deep fat fryer.
Sure enough, the hemorrhoids turned into pork rind type appendages
that just broke off. Mike then took sandpaper and smoothed each
child's rectum, especially polishing the edges of the boys.
It was wonderful - no more straining when they made a BM (bowel
movement). No doubt from eaching too much poi in Hawaii.
Well, I hope I was watching the orig ABC network version, but somehow
I feel there was something left out. I don't know why? Kings - can
you help me, dear? I am just worried I missed something.
Derek and Kings - I love you so much. You mean the world to me, and
then some. I would love to be your middle spoon on our spoon drawer
of 3 spoons. A Derek spoon, a BM (Bowel Movement) Lady spoon, and a
Kings spoon. You and Derek would never spoon together, and I would
always be the middle spoon. I know you two would make me the happiest
spoon!
Love you so much that words and BM's (bowel movements) can not express
it.
The BM (Bowel Movement) Lady
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