180817A
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Paper thin postcard
detachment cast adrift
in a puddle of alienation
where there are people
who are habitually known
in gatherings of run off,
that meander away
from any higher ground.
The definition of knowledge
is that shallowest personal history
of celebrating anniversaries
and other murky excuses
for abandoning
some elements of restraint,
without going too deep
into anything further.
A social incarceration,
in a prisoners' common room,
of the commonest habits,
becoming a common deception
as to a condition of release,
albeit temporary,
time off
for bad behaviour.
Swarming buzz of gossip
as to the ups and downs
and the ins and outs of it,
as might be occurrences
titillating with nothing much,
beyond the rare interjection
of an incident report or two
where it got out of hand.
An insect sort of life
that can be divided up
into people fleas
and mosquitoes,
hovering on the edges
of any common depression.
The one bites to cling,
while the other tends to suck.
Evidence is presented,
as to various bad choices.
Evidence intended as the proof
that there are no good ones.
It becomes a jury of peers
intent on the death penalty
for any who tried to get out
of more of the usual same.
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180817B
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Harder to run the blockades
past the heaped up barricades
of artificial constraints.
Trying to operate clandestinely
to overcome social embargoes
imposed by the existing regime.
An outlaw mentality
that craves so much more
than it ever gets,
kept suffering
under the endless sanctions
being continually enforced.
In a time of social prohibitions,
few ever slip under the radar,
to evade the whispers of constraint
that divide and conquer,
by cutting off at every turn
into smaller and smaller pieces.
You do not know the secret signs
of the latest speakeasy,
where you might have broken through
any of the hard lines,
that seek to confine the individual
to a personal cult of the self.
The self being that smallest piece
that anyone can be cut off to being,
as if lone fox trying to evade hounds,
that keep coming in relentless pursuit
in that continual cutting away,
to a mere self portrait of existence.
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180817C
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Hiding in the dark,
because instinct still tells us
to escape the predators
that fill the daylight hours.
Daylight is endless demands,
coming from all directions,
as to whatever we do not have,
or cannot afford to spare.
They gnash and gnaw
with those endless conditions
that cannot really be met,
never relenting as to unreasonable.
Any rational arguments,
being notwithstanding
that relentless assault
as to proscribed and perscripted.
The clauses being invoked
are those that do the worst damage,
and no type of escape written in,
to any potentially forced agreement.
Resistance movements crumble
under that persistent pressure.
Any remaining solidarity collapses
into incomprehensible prattle.
Levels of threat steadily rising,
exceeding the high water marks
from any previous floods,
creating more and more undertow.
A feeling of being herded
down the narrow ramp,
toward that slaughterhouse
to be packed up and distributed.
Ways of getting spread thin,
to the point were no one notices
the finality of disappearance,
when the bones have been ground up.
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180817D
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Ask questions forever,
and no one really answers.
At least not to the point,
and mostly attacking any question
as being the wrong question,
or the wrong way to ask it.
That table keeps turning,
until you are too dizzy from the spin
to be able to gather your thoughts
to conform to any coherent structure,
rendered bereft of any original intent,
in all the denials of personal truth.
The fact that you asked anything
is purely a despicable product
of your entirely bad attitude.
No one with the right attitudes
would ever even dare to ask
any such stupid questions.
That then defines the options,
down to what you can afford
in terms of price tags,
based on endless window shopping.
There is no accessing that department
to complain about its categorizing.
That is not the assignment
that you would have chosen to take on,
if you had any real means to choosing,
rather than suffering determinations
that unknown others seek to impose
in their forever contrary manner.
What you see is what you get,
if the endless rules allow any conversation,
within tightening social constraints.
Anything actually appealing
is left purely to the imagination,
as silenced, ultimately deleted, passages.
Your story stopped being really yours
in any reasonable or real way,
at some unknown point a long time ago.
If you get your hands on the real author
of that total pack of lies and bullshit
you would certainly have to kill him.
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180817E
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It is often not what they choose,
but how they actually choose it
that becomes the real problem.
Choosing the ones that will suffer the most
and that have no real options,
for anything that will go entirely contrary.
It is the same as being invisibly marked
or being tattooed with a number
on your wrist.
There are those subversive indications
of something having gone entirely wrong
in the course of your genealogy.
Any personal statements to the contrary
are forever relegated to paper shredders,
never receiving any real consideration.
It gives the feeling of having been skinned,
and the thin strips
as flayed as your hide by a bullwhip.
It makes you scarred up and thrown away,
as something not worth bothering with,
regardless of any gauntlet passed through.
They only really initiate those people,
but never really your kind,
whatever unkind that chances to be.
That fat chance was no chance at all,
but that was left for you to discover,
as another diversion from the real problem.
You have to learn to get along,
but there is no getting along with it,
and that too is entirely your own failing.
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180817F
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Long distance relationships
proved to be merely another lesson
that it never really works out.
It is similar to paying the toll
for a road that cannot be travelled.
As one becomes older and older
that toll grows larger and larger
becoming ever more complicated.
More spurs dug into your flanks,
as to the absolute power of money,
in determining recognition,
and who you might chance to really know.
Then they lame you in the race,
and threaten to put you down,
as nothing more than an also ran
that must have stumbled and fallen.
It tends to be looked on as a no fault system,
where you yourself are wholly to blame
for having failed to avoid the accident.
Endless variations on the same theme,
could become endless volumes
as to meaningless case studies.
Looking for any sort of pay off there,
is definitive of another type of mistake.
You know that you are being set up,
when there is no available communication
within your own local interchange.
As if local numbers have been blocked
and your public listing scratched out,
or over written with invisible ink.
It usually means nothing much more
than you are no longer on the payroll.
That is the moment when someone calls you,
in another attempt to take everything away
that you ever worked for and that you value,
with a wholly impersonal long distance offer
that amounts to nothing but temporary work
in some far away place
that you have no real desire to visit,
and you would never really want to live in.
You get to remember how amazing it was
as to who showed interest in you,
when you had that job,
who no longer recognizes your existence
after that job is taken away.
You seem to have no other characteristics
other than that job title and its affiliation,
offering subsequent annihilation into loss.
The longer you are kept out
the worse it then becomes,
as your remaining status is whittled away,
incrementally in the course of time,
until you have far less status remaining
than any potential murder victim,
and certainly far less attention
from any sort of worthwhile crowd.
People refer to that as being freedom,
and claim only the insane have any doubts.
You do not question that sort of thing,
concerning fundamental core values
and how they are contrived to expression.
After all that is all exactly what it is
that potentially makes you free:
free from everything.
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