100914A
------------
The people who enter my dreams
are people whom I never knew,
and when I awaken from those places
I never meet any of them.
They come to make me lonely,
with their carefully chosen offerings,
of something that might interest me,
at least as far as the skin deep.
When I chance to remember them,
due to too suddenly opening my eyes,
I feel a sense of grief as to their loss
and that becomes my nightmare.
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011014A
-----------
They always promised deliverance
though nothing was ever really saved.
You did not want the purity of flesh,
so you pointed to the grave.
The modern soul on paper,
tabulated and written out.
You learned to calculate it all,
with nothing left to adore.
Rolling bones until the faces wear off,
but never getting the right number.
They always lied, and I believed them,
that we would eventually find our chance.
We all make so many mistakes
and being in that place was one of those.
Nearly everyone there always does,
and some of those are inevitably loved.
Whatever, is always the talk of the town,
though no one really knows the stories.
Their tongues little more than spades,
made good for killing, and putting down.
There isn't any sense of hot
that does not gradually grow cold.
Every loss felt twice,
when it begins, and long after it has ended.
I don't know why it is always so hard,
to find the right place, at the right time.
Your pretending to be soft as an angel,
and my sifting the beast from the man.
I used to believe we could find a territory
where neither has to surrender or retreat.
Somewhere where we can meet
no longer being everything for ourselves.
Whatever it was never happened for me,
though I hope it was good for you.
It was all designed to make me feel jealous,
but in the end that is all it could really do.
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011014B
------------
We indulged
in our liquid lobotomies,
trying to become
something,
that we were
supposed to be,
falling short of.
I feel
the forbidden feelings
of weeping,
when I look
at the stars,
so long
past far away.
Everything
having hidden
meanings,
that we brush off
as dust
from furnishings
carefully arranged.
-----------------------
011014C
-----------
The merchants
of your false beliefs
are knocking at your door,
being overstocked
with give aways
and free offers,
guaranteed satisfactions,
carefully devised
to make you
feel poor.
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011014D
------------
I die to you,
you die to me,
we die to them,
they die to us.
Someone left
and someone came.
It is all the same
no longer with us.
Nothing more
to be said,
as to the dearly
departed.
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011014E
-----------
It is always the financial cruelty
that one cannot really afford,
that makes every other kind
seem more the pleasure.
Too much is only a throat cut,
and being left for dead,
having been rifled over
for whatever didn't bleed out.
You keep playing in the dirt,
but they still say you are too clean,
so you cannot get in,
where you might really enjoy it.
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141014A
------------
Destined to be the moth
that flew in
to the cliche of your flame,
and breaking up into dust and ashes.
Everything has been done before
and everything gets done again,
in between months of Sundays
and all that endless waiting.
I thought I really loved you,
but maybe I only loved the pain:
the security of having an affliction
that offers no possibility of any cure.
I don't like it sticky
so don't speak of honey:
a sugar corpse attracting flies
seems much the same.
We are only here to haunt
each other's bad dreams.
It interrupts the usual boredom
of all other forms of endurance.
It is all about that kind of unkind
that is a coming near and letting go:
our ancestors were expert torturers
making us remember and confess.
Fed on lies and promises,
until everything seems indifferent:
it is all another game of hide and seek,
never discovering hot and cold.
Caught between opening wide
and closing the same eyes:
in between not seeing anything,
that we were looking for.
--------------------------------
141014B
-----------
I dredged the canal,
trying to find some trace of you,
as if there was some sediment there
of promised salvation.
I keep leaving traces of myself
on various curious things
that chance to turn up,
as if implicating something.
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