| Re: WTF? An unusual predicament ... |
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| .C'O'S.M'0S, (oops@now.com) |
2013/11/06 13:37 |
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Subject: Re: WTF? An unusual predicament ...
From: ".C'O'S.M'0S," <oops@now.com>
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Date: 06 Nov 2013 20:37:46 GMT
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4s00th <formerly_4s00th@hushmail.com> wrote in
news:up2i79t6cb796g040fahrpjj97nusicr7n@4ax.com:
> Some of you, I'm sure, are aware that I suffer from chronic health
> problems -- I haven't gone into depth with them because the condition
> that created them all is somewhat rare; if I were really concerned
> about security, I would even suggest it would really narrow down
> identifying information about me! And, of course, the symptoms aren't
> pleasant, and while I have no difficulty discussing them with friends,
> a lot of people would find some of the things I talk about to be ....
> let's just be polite and say, "unusual." Others might say
> "embarrassing" or even "rude!"
>
> That, of course, has contributed to my long history of depression,
> although that has a longer-standing cause. None of these things are
> all that important except to point out that I've suffered from
> depression since I was about 8 years old. I didn't know it so much
> then, but looking back I see the signs. When you're that young,
> depression often gets expressed as frustration -- and thus anger.
>
> Recently, I've had trouble remembering to take my multitudes of
> medication. So, maybe I'd get two doses of medicines out of 3 right
> about 4 or 5 times a week. I almost always got the morning dose right
> because that's when I take my first dose of pain medicine -- and
> that's pretty hard to forget to take when you hurt! And going on and
> off medication has created problems that I won't discuss here -- so I
> finally decided to stop taking a lot of it -- especially the
> anti-depressants. Surprisingly enough, my mood has shown so much
> improvement that I actually had an episode last week that took me a
> good while to figure out what it was!
>
> Seriously, I got some great news about a friend's health and a
> procedure he had undergone. A while later, I was trying to get to
> sleep, when suddenly I noticed this feeling in my chest. I swear, the
> image I had in my mind was like in those cartoons where a character
> gets run over by a steam-roller and then another character has to get
> a bicycle pump and pump them up, over-inflating them in the process
> until they go flying off wily-nily. It wasn't heartburn -- I know that
> feeling only too well! And then it hit me -- it was joy! Pure,
> unbridled joy and happiness! I'm glad I figured out what it was, it
> was actually kind of scary! I mean, the last time I remember feeling
> anything like that, I was 16 and my guidance counselor was telling me
> that my test scores pretty much ensured that I could get into any
> college I wanted to go to -- and that I might be able to get an
> academic scholarship on top of that. I went back to class from that
> meeting shaking. Of course, it actually took some of the joy out of
> getting my letter of acceptance from University of Virginia, but there
> you go.
>
> FTR, I think I understand the thing with the medicine -- when my
> depression would get worse, we'd just add more medicine. At least some
> of the times, we should have tried changing the medicine altogether,
> but that's not how we do things in the US -- we just throw more at the
> problem. Let's add another pill! More pills, more money -- even when
> we know the solution isn't working, we figure if we spend more on the
> solution, somehow it will suddenly start working!
>
> So, after nearly 40 years of mostly depression, after 40 years of not
> finding a lot of joy or happiness in my life, I have this sudden
> influx of good feelings. Maybe I'm just doomed. You know, the kind of
> guy who roots through a box of gold and can only complain about the
> tarnish! But now I find I'm scared as hell -- scared that the
> depression will come back and take that all away again. I'll freely
> admit that I couldn't live with the kind of joy I felt the other night
> -- that was great, but it's not something I could take for more than
> hour or two! But it was great that I still felt the happiness after
> the flat-out joy.
>
> Sometimes, I really don't know.
>
> But I have added this to the list of things that people never tell you
> ... but probably should.
>
> Love,
> Steve
>
> -- l00sescrew@hushmail.com
>
Hi Steve
I think you have discovered for yourself that there is a very shady side
to modern pharmaceutical medical marketing, which often has less to do
with the welfare of the patient and more to do with their corporate
profits.
Glad to hear that your life and wellbeing has turned for the better
Take Care
Cosmos
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