Stephen's Secure Blog #122
These stories about Stephen began was when he was 10 years old, and
moving to a new part of the country to attend a special school for
gifted students, in the 1950's. This was from a time before computers
would fit on a desk, and when people communicated with friends in other
countries by actual letters sent through the postal service. He wrote
225 of them to a friend. He stopped writing to his penpal, but found he
still wanted to record his life, in case he lost his memory again, and
wrote 30 entries in his first logbook. Then he wrote to an artificial
intelligence called Geenee, in the master computer in his school for
gifted students, which he started attending in 2016. Now it's after
2018, and he's continuing to save his memories in a secure blog.
All characters are fictitious, even if some of them might have names
that belong to some actual people, or act like people we know.
The stories may not be posted in chronological order.
Stephen is 14 in this story, in the early Winter of year 5 of his
special school.
Stephen's Secure Blog #122 "Incarnation?"
START Page
Rose and I took our ship to theirs and docked. We were met by the
friendly First officer, and escorted to the Ship's Psychologist, in her
office. We sat. I said "First, I should tell you we are not being
monitored here or recorded. If it happens, I'll raise my hand and make
this sign. Then I'll fry the equipment. We have a lot to discuss, so
I'll start with the big one which enabled this meeting. This is a
professional consultation, between psychologists, with your race, and
perhaps the entire Confederation, as the patient. It also involves
something very personal to me, and so comes under added confidentiality
requirements. Do you accept that?" She said "You are being unusually
serious. I accept." I said "To start, I need to see where you are on
some subjects. My questions may be personal, but very necessary. What
are your opinions and beliefs about what happens to the spirit after
the death of the body?" She said "I don't have any." I looked at her
sideways and said, "All Adepts have some, because we can SEE the
spirit." She sighed and said, "Yes. It persists after death in some way
I don't know. Some believe it goes to a very nice place for eternity,
and some believe to a dark place of suffering, and some to be born
again in a new baby. I don't know which of those is true."
I said "We know. I, more than others. Want to hear more?" She was
very interested, and said, "Absolutely!" I said "All of them are true,
and more. What happens after death is influenced in part by the strong
beliefs of the individual. Those who believe they will be reincarnated,
or don't have any beliefs, do reincarnate. We know this because some of
us have been contacted by the dead, and being Adepts, who they are is
unmistakable to us, and some of us we know have had past incarnations,
and some have full memories of entire lifetimes. One of the Dark Adepts
I defeated, when I pulled his spirit from his body and put it in an
insulated container to keep him from being reincarnated, had those
memories, which unfortunately were then stuck in my mind as well. That
forced me to believe, when I had not before, when Adepts had recognized
me as their former teacher. Now, through some strange circumstances, I
remember many of my past lives, in the same total recall I have for my
current life. Your thoughts on this?"
Angrala said "I have no reason to doubt you, and some reasons to
believe, and not just from you. I think I can accept it as provisional
truth, until proved otherwise, which I doubt will or can happen." I
said "Will your people believe, when it's forced on them?" She said
"That I don't know. Your use of 'forced', disturbs me." I said "More is
sure to, and relates to one of the questions you would ask about the
documents we gave you. I know our afterlives are influenced by our
strong feelings, because it happened to me. The oldest incarnation I
remember is being a woman. I was so disturbed by what happened because
I was a woman, I have never been one since. I was the foremost expert
in the area of what I warned them against, and they wouldn't listen to
me because I was a woman. Unfortunately, they went ahead with their
plans, and the disaster I predicted, did happen. Some blamed me for it,
in twisted rejection of guilt, and some thought of me as a hero for
what happened after, even though they eventually deserted me." She said
"That is very interesting, but I don't see how that applies to us."
I said "You have questions about the files. Tell me the big ones."
She immediately said "How did you know the origin of my people and the
Van?" I said "The Van don't know their history, because they regressed,
and lost it all. All that remains of it is the name of a hated deity,
which is the same name you know with a different feeling. When they
were exploring, they found the Earth and discovered it was their
original homeworld. There is no known evidence of any kind that your
ancestor's civilization ever existed on Earth. So, how do we know what
happened? In memory. I was Attin Lantos ReyMu." I broke down and cried.
While Rose comforted me, Angrala sat in stunned silence. Then she
recovered, and came from around her desk and knelt beside me and hugged
me, too. I said through my tears, "They wouldn't believe me, and the
world died. Then, almost all who survived by being offplanet, took
almost all I was going to use to rebuild the Earth, to make starships,
and abandoned Earth to become the Van. A very few stayed with me to
help build a base on Earth with what was left, but after many weary
years, my friends grew tired, and they took most of my tools and
equipment to build their own starship, and left the Earth to become
your people. I found survivors on the planet, but by then they had
mutated. I helped them to survive and prosper, to eventually become who
we are now. All the years since then, in incarnation after incarnation,
I have, when I could, tried to help this world's people progress and be
good, without knowing why most of the time, because we usually don't
remember our past lives. It hasn't been enough, and never enough to
cure my millennia of lonely abandonment, or the guilt of not trying
hard enough to convince them." I looked up and wiped my face. I said "I
have never expressed my feelings about this to anybody before. You two
are the first."
Rose said to Angrala, "Now, what do we do about it? Should your
people be told?" Angrala started to say something, and stopped. And
then started again, and stopped. I said "Sorry, didn't get that." She
sighed and said "I just don't know. Except you were right about how big
that is." I said "It gets potentially bigger. I have total recall, and
we have a way of storing memories in readable form, so anybody can
experience her life." She said "Oh my GOD!" I said "Not her whole life.
Their expectancy was 900 years. She didn't quite live that long, but
nobody living now could experience all of it. AND that method is
secret, but I would share the recording with your Guardians, if you
think I should." She looked a little brighter and said, "That I can say
yes to." I grinned and said, "The first step!" She tentatively smiled
back.
I said "But first, I need to know some more about your Guardians. To
start, why are you on this ship? I wouldn't have expected that of a
Guardian." She said "I wouldn't have, either. My Guardian superior
asked me to, and so I joined the service, and after training, applied
to this ship and was accepted. I was not told why." I said "Do any of
them have a premonition or Oracle talent?" She said "I don't know. They
don't discuss those things." I said "I'll find out when I want to. On
most every world which has active Guardians, some in government know
something about them. It must be so on your world. Do you know who they
are?" She said "I think I see where you are going with that. You want
to know who to talk to, if the military wants to abuse you." I said
"Smart! I like that!" So did she, in a modest way. I said "A little
more, though. I plan to tell them in advance we are coming." Rose said
"I missed that one. Should have thought of it myself." I hugged her and
said, "It's alright. Ichi has many years on you. You'll get there
sooner than he has, I'm sure." Angrala said "I only know one in
security. I'm sure there are more." I said "Telling us will be entirely
your choice. But, I will find out what I want to know, directly from
your Guardians, if I need to. When lives are at stake, NOTHING stops
me. I always find a way." She said "I'm beginning to believe that." She
gave me the name.
I said "Now onto the next. Your Guardians will never equal ours, even
if we wanted them to. They started too late. They won't take that in a
pleasant way, and probably won't do anything to remedy that situation,
if my appreciation of their egos is any near correct." She looked
surprised and said, "Now that I think of it, you are probably right."
Rose had been laughing, I poked her, and she explained, "Stephen hears
'now that I think of it' very often, and most of it from us. Welcome to
the club, sister!" They laughed together. Then Rose said "Stephen
doesn't take away, without giving something better in return." I said
"We can train you, and set you up with students and a school. We've had
practice with that. We can start the practice if you stay with us while
your ship is going home, and then join it there just before they
arrive. Our method of transportation doesn't care about distance or
time. If you agree to that, we have to find a way to convince the
Captain to allow it, and keep secret why you are staying with us. To do
that, we might have to tell him why, and that could include that you
are a Guardian. If we need to, with his permission, I can put a
compulsion on him so that he can't communicate our secrets by intent or
accident. I did mention 'binding agreement of confidentiality' to him
in our last conversation. Your thoughts?"
She said "I've been thinking along those lines myself. Here is my
decision. We tell him about our origins and, your plans for me and the
other Guardians, but only AFTER the compulsion is established." I said
"Good one! Is it polite for me to say that I'm VERY proud of you?" She
was very embarrassed, but said, "I don't know, and I don't care. Thank
you!" I said "You're very welcome. How we tell him is up for
discussion. One way, is to play back Rose's memory of this meeting for
him." She thought a while, and said, "That would be optimal." I said
"But not with me present." She said with care in her voice, "I
understand." I said "Should we tell him now? We are here, which he
knows. And he is practically burning up with curiosity. It would be
cruel to delay satisfying that." She said "Yes, and include that in the
playback." We all grinned. She called his office, and he was available.
We went to the conference room.
I said "We had our discussion. Angrala has made her decision. I have
to tell you it wasn't easy, which you will see." I nodded to her, and
she said, "What we have to tell you can affect the entire Confed, and
WILL affect all our own people, and the safety of some of our very
important people, if it becomes public knowledge. The secrecy this
requires is so critical, and because lives depend on it, we will tell
you only if you agree to have unbreakable prohibitions installed in
your mind against revealing any of it without permission, so you can't
be forced to reveal it under any conditions." He looked not as
surprised as I expected. He said "I had been thinking it might be
something along those lines. Can you do the job without damaging me?" I
said "Absolutely. I've done it before. I can do something extra, too. I
can remove the memories if they become too much of a burden to you." He
said "I didn't expect that last part. I accept. You knew I would, you
sneaky situation manager!" I grinned and said, "Actually, it was as a
psychologist that I knew. Ready?" He nodded, and I did it. Then I said,
"If you want the wording changed, I can do that." He said "I see you
have had practice. Very carefully worded. I'm ready for the big
reveal." Angrala said, "No, you're not. None of us would be. Rose will
play back her memory of our meeting, while Stephen is out of the room.
You will know why, then. It is VERY personal to him." She nodded to me,
and I went out the door and closed it. I could still hear, so I went to
where the airlock was.
After the playback was done, Rose called me back, and I went back
into the room. They were all standing, and Captain Krack came over to
me and hugged me. I gave the entire ship my love. We all sat down then,
and I said, "Sometimes under stress, I don't control my love very
tightly. Er, the whole ship felt that one. I thought you should know,
in case there are some questions." He grinned and said, "Thanks for the
warning. Also thank you for the new information I shouldn't have. You
were right in every way. I shouldn't have doubted you, and I don't
think I will ever again." I nodded my thanks. He said "You really do
want what is best for all, and I will work toward that as much as I am
able to." I said "But you need to be careful not to cause yourself
harm. Aside from how bad we would feel about that, you would also lose
your effectiveness, and be very frustrated in that. We like you, and
don't want you, any of you, to be harmed in any way. I should explain
something of that. I love everybody. In this, and in my last
incarnation, and in some others, I always have. Even people I don't
like. So actually liking and respecting somebody, is an extra good
thing, to go with it." He said "I'm so honored, I don't know what to
say, but thank you." I grinned and said "That works." He couldn't help
laughing.
I said "I think we should leave you now, so you can do some important
thinking, and prepare for the next meeting. I know you have more
questions, but you might want to reword some of them, in the light of
your new information." He said "I agree. Angrala, please stay." Rose
and I stood up, and said our goodbyes, and walked to the lock and into
our ship. Back home, I said to Rose, "Please make a crystal of both
meetings, and pass it around. I could push it, but I don't want to
experience them again right now." She said "Already did." I said
"Thanks." She said "I want to go swimming in your fancy pool. With Hawk
and ichi, the rest of your family." I said "I wouldn't mind that." We
did, and then we used the soft part of the floor for some really
intense sex play. We were very tired after that, and slept together
right there, in a sea of love.
END Page
--
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Grant
|
|