Thanks for all the kind responses. I must admit that posting all of
that and getting it off of my chest really did help -- and all of your
kindness did wonders for me as well.
There is one thing that I would like to key on here -- and that's
about the "doctor/patient" relationship. Yes, in most cases, doctors
are supposed to keep anything you tell them confidential -- but that
isn't always how it works out. Keep in mind that anything in your
record may be accessible to insurance companies -- not necessarily a
nice thing. Furthermore, there are particular instances in which a
doctor is REQUIRED by law to violate confidentiality. For example, if
a doctor feels that, by your statements and behavior, you are an
eminent risk to hurt yourself or someone else, he/she is required by
law to contact the authorities and to have you picked up for
psychiatric evaluation on a Temporary Detention Order. Under the terms
of this TDO, you must be evaluated and the evidence brought before a
civil judge for a hearing within 72 hours. Furthermore, if you give
any doctor reason to believe that you are or have been sexually
involved with a minor, he is required by law to report his suspicions
to the appropriate authorities -- generally Child Welfare and/or Child
Protective Services. The doctor does not need to have proof -- he just
has to suspect that this is the case.
Therefore, it is important that, should you be discussing pedophilia,
you make it clear that you are not sexually involved with a minor,
have not been sexually involved with a minor and do not intend to
become sexually involved with a minor despite how you may feel or what
you might desire. And, even then, such information would be available
to your insurance company if the doctor details such information in
your chart. I think I may have stated something to the effect of "I
haven't been sexually involved with a kid since I was a kid myself
.... " But even that kind of statement can be fraught with peril since
they could pull bullshit about you being older than the other kid when
it happened and so on -- despite the fact that it (as in my case) was
purely consensual. To be honest, I knew that the info would then be in
my chart, but it was interesting in that my shrink felt that this was
not necessarily something that my insurance company needed to be aware
of.
I am not trying to stop anyone from getting help -- if you need it,
get it! PLEASE! But be careful what you say.
For the record, I know these laws for the simple reason that I briefly
worked for Child Protective Services and the majority of my career I
spent as a psychiatric case manager -- basically a social worker.
These laws are very clear, but they are not always handled properly or
consistently. Different agencies and practices have, shall we say,
differences of interpretation despite the clarity of the law. Again,
that law specifically states that if a doctor, nurse, psychiatrist,
social worker or any other health professional, teacher or principal
SUSPECTS that a child is being abused or neglected they MUST report
their suspicions to the proper authorities. I believe the same also
applies to the legal profession, but I am not positive about that. And
also, FTR, most states require an investigation by Child Protective
Services -- not the police, though the police may certainly be
involved under the CPS department or called in later depending on the
outcome of the investigation.
These are issues you all need to be aware of. But, again, don't let it
stop you from getting professional help if that is what you need.
There are those of us here who are willing to provide support to
others here in this group or by email -- but that's just not the same
as real psychiatric care. And make no mistake about it -- DEPRESSION
is an illness that needs to be treated by a physician, preferably a
psychiatrist.
And, let me say once more how much I appreciate how people responded
to me. In the long run, I know I will survive -- I always have before.
But that doesn't change the fact that it hurts. Or how much it hurts.
And I guess there's always the possibility that I will eventually
reach that point where the pain gets to be too much. I shouldn't
expect that to happen -- I'm too damn selfish to really want to kill
myself! I mean, without me and my pain and my problems and my
self-loathing and whatnot, how would the world keep turning?
<wbg>
Regardless, it's nice to know that there is a place where I can blow
off some steam and get some kindness and understanding. Thank you.
Love,
Steve
PS: to HMS -- I'm too stupid to totally give up hope!
-- 4s00th@hushmail.com
My email is always available for those looking for and willing to supply support in the effort to remain boy-lovers and not become child-molesters de jure if not de facto.
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