"bobandcarole" <bobandcarole100@hotmail.com> wrote in
news:1148049526.300069.312430@i39g2000cwa.googlegroups.com:
>
> megalomaniac wrote:
>> On Wed, 17 May 2006 12:19:05 -0400, Paul Robinson
>> <paul@paul-robinson.org> wrote:
>>
>> >megalomaniac wrote:
>> >
>> >> On 12 May 2006 20:33:01 -0700, stu@aaronj.com wrote:
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>>According to Christianity:
>> >>>
>> >>>Is it worse to eat shrimp than to act like a homosexual?
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> Personally I like shrimp, but I'm not into the homosexual
>> >> thing. Not that there's anything wrong with it.
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>>God warns us in Leviticus that eating shrimp and acting
>> >>>homosexual are both abominations.
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> God is surely out of his mind. Has he even tried a shrimp
>> >> cocktail?
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>>(Read the Bible and see for yourself.)
>> >>>
>> >>>If we are really trying to follow God's Word, which
>> >>>abomination is worse, or are they both the same?
>> >>>
>> >>>Leviticus 11:10 And all that have not fins and scales in the
>> >>>seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and
>> >>>of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an
>> >>>abomination unto you:
>> >>>
>> >>>Leviticus 18:22Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with
>> >>>womankind: it is abomination.
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> Sounds like *all* sex is an abomination there. That's the
>> >> Bible for ya. The single most overrated book of all time.
>> >
>> >It also says that cutting all your hair is both mandatory to
>> >be "clean" if you're suspected of leprosy,
>> >
>> > But it shall be on the seventh day, that he shall shave
>> > all his hair off his head and his beard and his eyebrows,
>> > even all his hair he shall shave off: and he shall wash
>> > his clothes, also he shall wash his flesh in water, and
>> > he shall be clean.
>> > - Lev 14:9
>> >
>> >And at the same time says you shall not cut your beard
>> >
>> > Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither
>> > shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard.
>> > - Lev 19:27
>> >
>> >so you pays your money and takes your chances.
>> >
>> >But I like the "Questions to George Bush" item that has
>> >circulated over the Internet many times as being a very funny
>> >exposition of the hypocricy of those who claim the Bible
>> >should be read literally:
>> >
>> >
>> >
>> >Bush and the Bible: A Letter to George Bush
>> >
>> >Dear President Bush,
>> >
>> >Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's
>> >Law. I have learned a great deal from you and understand why
>> >you would propose and support a constitutional amendment
>> >banning same sex marriage. As you said "in the eyes of God
>> >marriage is based between a man a woman." I try to share that
>> >knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries
>> >to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply
>> >remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an
>> >abomination... End of debate.
>> >
>> >I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other
>> >elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.
>> >
>> >1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male
>> >and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring
>> >nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to
>> >Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own
>> >Canadians?
>> >
>> >2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as
>> >sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you
>> >think would be a fair price for her?
>> >
>> >3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she
>> >is in her period of menstrual uncleanness - Lev.15: 19-24. The
>> >problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women
>> >take offense.
>> >
>> >4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it
>> >creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem
>> >is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them.
>> >Should I smite them?
>> >
>> >5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath.
>> >Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I
>> >morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the
>> >police to do it?
>> >
>> >6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is
>> >an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than
>> >homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there
>> >'degrees' of abomination?
>> >
>> >7. Lev.21:20 states that I may ! not approach the altar of God
>> >if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear
>> >reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there
>> >some wiggle- room here?
>> >
>> >8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including
>> >the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly
>> >forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
>> >
>> >9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead
>> >pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear
>> >gloves?
>> >
>> >10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two
>> >different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing
>> >garments made of two different kinds of thread
>> >(cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme
>> >a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of
>> >getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16.
>> >Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family
>> >affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws?
>> >(Lev. 20:14)
>> >
>> >I know you have studied these things extensively and thus
>> >enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am
>> >confident you can help.
>> >
>> >Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal
>> >and unchanging. \
>> >
>> >
>>
>>
>> Hey look, what's your vote? Shrimp or homosexuals?
>
> Easy...shrimp good....homosexuals bad
>
Are homosexual shrimps good or bad...?
TomBa NP-f36
--
You know how dumb the average guy is?
Well, by definition, half of them are even dumber than that.
Anon
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