On Sat, 05 Jun 2010 08:11:12 -0400, NP-f31 wrote:
>On Fri, 04 Jun 2010 21:53:28 -0600, victorvictorian@hushmail.com
>wrote:
>
>>On Fri, 04 Jun 2010 21:13:46 -0400, NP-f31 wrote:
>>
>>>A BL friend wrote to me the other day about a date he recently had
>>>with a woman who is a nurse. She worked in palliative care and was
>>>talking about the death of one of her patients that had just occurred.
>>>As it turns out this patient had been a 12 year old terminally ill
>>>boy. The date had imbibed a few drinks and her tongue was loosened.
>>>She began to explain to my friend that she had granted the dying wish
>>>of this boy. He had, over a series of days, told her that the one
>>>thing he didn't want to do was die a virgin and that she was his only
>>>hope. She is an attractive woman, by the way. One day not long before
>>>he died she was assisting him in the shower and he implored her to
>>>touch him. She said she felt sorry for him, and she ended up making
>>>love to the boy and added that it was an enjoyable experience for the
>>>both of them. This really got the attention of my BL friend, it
>>>intrigued him to say the least. He told her that he wasn't judging her
>>>and that what she did was an unselfish act. Armed with that knowledge
>>>she admitted to my friend that this wasn't the first terminally ill
>>>adolescent she'd sent to heaven a man. Then she told him that she knew
>>>of many hospice nurses who had done the same thing. How many? She
>>>didn't say. This absolutely blew my friend's mind. He wondered what my
>>>feelings were on the subject and I told him. I'll share them with you
>>>too and I hope you'll share your feelings on the subject as well.
>>>
>>>Here is what I think:
>>>
>>>I think that nurses who have sex with terminally ill boys are
>>>fulfilling their own fantasies, not some boy's dying wish. Put the
>>>shoe on the other foot, if a male nurse had been asked the same
>>>question by a terminally ill 12 year old girl, the male nurse would
>>>be seen as a rapist, especially by the drunken nurse. She
>>>wanted those 12 year old boys for the same reason we, as BLs, would.
>>>She has convinced herself that she was fulfilling his final wish. What
>>>she really did was seduce and rape him. That's how it would be seen if
>>>we did it. I won't allow her to live in a double standard world. What
>>>if the boy had been gay? Would she have sought out a male nurse to
>>>service him? No, she was living out her fantasies and she's justified
>>>it in her mind because the kids were dying. What if either boy had
>>>made a miraculous recovery? What would she be then? A statutory
>>>rapist. Just because the boy dies doesn't make it okay. If you and I,
>>>as boylovers, have to go to jail for making love to a boy who wants us
>>>to, then she has to also. Otherwise, when is rape not a rape? When a
>>>woman does it? Tell that to Mary Kay Laterno. If the boy is dying?
>>>Well, that would lead to a rash of rape-murders, wouldn't it?
>>>
>>>I think this scenario shows the whole ingrained bias against man/boy
>>>relationships. I guarantee you if it were the other way around, man
>>>and girl, she would be horrified and so would her hospice boy rapist
>>>friends.
>>>
>>>Your thoughts solicited...
>>>
>>>Doc
>>>NP-f31
>>
>>My Dear Doc,
>>
>>I feel sorry for the young fellow. When one reaches that age, one
>>becomes acutely aware of being on the doorstep of manhood, with all of
>>the expectations one has heard from friends and family as to what
>>makes a "real man." If indeed the story was true, the lad had learned
>>he would be unfulfilled if he were to die a virgin. How preposterous,
>>of course, but very sad, don't you think?
>>
>>If the nurse felt she were "doing the lad a favour" by sending him to
>>heaven as a "real man," that is equally preposterous and equally
>>tragic.
>>
>>But if she acted to satisfy and confort him, then she is as an angel.
>>
>>To your argument. You state that nurses (presumably both men and
>>women) are fulfilling their own fantasies rather than the desire of
>>their younger partners. First, what should be so surprising or
>>objectionable about that? Second, if the younger partner makes such a
>>request and enjoys the experience, what should be so objectionable
>>about that? That a male nurse would be "seen as a rapist" is
>>precisely that ... SEEN ... by OTHERS, as a rapist ... completely
>>irrespective of the feelings of the younger partner. We are so
>>constrained by society, to such a great extent by gender roles. Men
>>are seen as predatory ... women as sympathetic and nurturing. There
>>have been cases, several of which I am certain you are familiar, where
>>a woman, most particularly a teacher, had been accused and convicted
>>of "rape" of a male student. Yet I hazard that these women do not
>>suffer near the punishment NOR the ostricisation that men do, because
>>of society's view of the nature of men and women.
>>
>>We are also constrained, perhaps unfairly and inaccurately, by
>>society's view of sex ... what the sexual feeling really is, who is
>>capable of feeling it and what it signifies, how a sexual act is
>>defined, and who may or may NOT engage in sexual acts. These rules
>>are less fundamental or, for that matter natural, than they are
>>arbitrary ... rules simply created by any society--groups of people
>>adhering to a traditional code of behaviour-- to organize and control
>>members of that society. So the idea that a grown woman and a young
>>boy or girl, or a grown man and the same, could not mutually enjoy
>>sexual contact, and that the younger partner would be fundamentally
>>scarred from the experience in all cases, is only substantiated in a
>>society that upholds that idea.
>>
>>Thus you state that the nurse "raped" him. Did she? How are you
>>defining rape, and from whence do you get the inspiration for that
>>definition, sir? You also state that, because a man engaging in a
>>similar act with a girl (or, for that matter, a boy) will invariably
>>be judged a rapist and sent to jail ... therefore so should the woman
>>be punished in like.
>>
>>I recall Ted's signature line here ... "An Unjust Law is Not Law."
>>Boylovers are subjected to the most heinous and draconian laws and
>>punishments for loving a boy. You would therefore subject women who
>>love boys or girls to the same injustice?
>>
>>And should this be overturned (which, of course, it will not) would
>>that lead to a rash of rape-murders? I think you overstate
>>considerably here, for emotion-stirring purposes. Of course not. It
>>is the law itself that has oft led to this terrible end. For Love
>>does not Murder the object of its desire. Hatred does.
>>
>>Lastly, you state that the scenario shows an ingrained bias against
>>man/boy relationships. Yes, in a sense, I suppose. But you know, all
>>our biases are learned ...
>>
>>A very wise doctor once told me, "Any LOVE is GOOD love." Let the two
>>of them be.
>>
>>With all due respect,
>>
>>VV
>>God Save the Queen!
>>God Bless the House of Windsor!
>>Rule Britannia!
>
>Hey Double V!
>
>A GREAT post! I took a narrow view on purpose from the perspective
>that if a man did the same thing to a boy like the ones mentioned that
>he would be severely punished.
>
>Your idealistic view is a beautiful one. And your post is exactly the
>sort of discussion I had hoped to create.
>
>Much love,
>
>Doc
>NP-f31
Hey Doc,
I've been following this thread and I agree with Double V. In fact, if
I were better versed in the King's English, I might have made a very
similar post.
First, I will say that, if the story is indeed true, my heart goes out
to this boy's family. There is nothing in this world that breaks my
heart more easily than to hear of a child dying.
As to the topic at hand, I must agree with VV - most boys that age are
acutely aware of their sexuality and what (they believe) it means to
be a real man - which is preposterous. But is how many of them see
things.
My biggest problem - as is with many others here - is the double
standard. Anyone who has followed stories of teachers having sex with
students knows that female teachers that have sex with male (or
female) students are treated with much more leniency than male
teachers who have sex with students. I have read comments on sites
such as badbadteacher.com when a "hot" female teacher has sex with
some 14 year old boy and an alarming number of comments tend to refer
to the kid as being "lucky". I remember an English teacher in high
school that was absolutely gorgeous. Had it not been the fact that I
was more inclined to be attracted to some of my male teachers, I would
have gladly slept with her. But if it had been revealed that I had sex
with any male teacher, it would have been a much different situation.
My willingness would have been of no consequence with regards to a
male teacher.
I've been greatly intrigued by the lively discussion this topic has
generated.
Thanks Doc!
Love,
Chad (NP-b24)
"Well, can't he just beam up?"
"This is *reality* Greg."
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